Yeah, I hate the ORLY pics...
- Thread starter civicious
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probably to wash the blood/carcass off 
Cashizslick
!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!
gotta hear that one.
i hit a seagul once in the beach parking lot. went to scare some that were in a puddle and i hit the gas and on flew into the front shield on the bike and rolled over like some action stun man and drooled all over the front of the bike. as soon as i left the beach i pulled over nd started laughing so hard i cried
Smonkeyboy
Senior Member
ok, one of my chick friends hit a deer......kinda....
she was drivin home and the deer jumped into the road, didnt hit her hood, but rolled off the windsheild as she slammed on her brakes....... and i shit you not, landed on her back window, smashing it in, and falling INTO HER BACKSEAT. no dents on the hood or fender..... no smashed windsheild, no dents on the roof....... just a smashed back window and a dead deer in her back seat.
she was drivin home and the deer jumped into the road, didnt hit her hood, but rolled off the windsheild as she slammed on her brakes....... and i shit you not, landed on her back window, smashing it in, and falling INTO HER BACKSEAT. no dents on the hood or fender..... no smashed windsheild, no dents on the roof....... just a smashed back window and a dead deer in her back seat.
StealthMode
Kung Foolin'
Did she get out of the car and run around like a Chinese fire drill with a convicted sex offender?
Celerity
Well-Known Member
Gather 'round for the retelling of the CRX surfing a Deer tale,
It was a crisp night, late summer of 2003. My girlfriend at the time (This chick from The British Virgin Islands, looked like the chick in "Surface") worked 3rd shift at the gas station that I now live across the street from. We used to hang out really really late at night, on her schedule (I had no stinkin' job, what the hell) and it's early morning when we part ways. I'll say it was about 2 am. She heads off in one direction, I the other. Now my route home at the time was long and mostly back-roads (With 3 dirt roads to traverse, including the one I lived on). I'm heading up Rt 110 through Shelton and I spot a family of deer way up ahead. I slow down, awaiting more to jump out. Nothing. I go up the hill further, 2 more deer jump out in front of the car, I hit the brakes. I crested the hill at 25 mph and took a careful sip of coffee from my paper cup.
I lowered the cup and to my astonishment - A Dead deer, in the middle of the road. I toss my coffee onto the floor and slam the brakes - But it's too late. I hit the deer and the engine immediately shuts down, and the CRX jumps into the air. It was just enough momentum to get my stiff-suspensioned CRX 5 or so inches up, where all 4 tires clear the road - but I didn't shave off any momentum. I slid down the opposite side of the hill on top of the carcass with no rubber contacting the ground to slow down. The car went remarkably straight until it reached the ditch on the side of the road, in slow motion. With a <thud><thud> the car rolled off the carcass and gently into the ditch.
My concern at that moment was the fact that the engine simply shut off. The moment I had contact with the deer, the tach suddenly went to 0. So naturally the worst is going through my mind. I have no light to check the underside of the car, and in the moonlight there is this slick fluid all over the place. I have my cell phone, I call the police. At the very least, I need a goddam flashlight.
The cop shows up alittle later, and in his headlights I can see the profile of the mess - About a 100 feet slick of fluid and darkness running down the road. The officer asked if I was alright, etcetera. I went over that part of the story with him and borrowed his flashlight.
Look under the car - It's H.R. Geiger under there. There are bits of hoof, brain, white tail and bits of deer skin melted to the exhaust, and it's still smoking and smoldering. The smell was unbelievable. But in the flashlight I could tell that the fluids from the car were red - and not black. The oil pan had survived. Time to shine the flashlight elsewhere.
Apparently, I hit this deer carcass and high centered the car on it, using the cars momentum to slide down the hill on the corpse until the tires caught traction. They caught traction only when the side of the deer has rubbed away, it's rib cage rubbed away, a slight moment of acceleration when it's intestines unravelled and it's inner involuntary organs lubricated the ride. Then when it hit the spine, it tossed over and released the car. So the deer corpse was now sunny-side-up in the middle of the lane, with it's cavity exposed. Good thing I have a strong stomach, and the cop does too. But the cop is looking alittle green. I offer to help:
"Can I help with this thing?" I ask.
"Oh god. Uh, Oh god. Yeah.. I'll grab it's gory leg, if you wanna grab it's lower leg and help me get this thing to the side of the road."
So he grabbed the torn up leg on top, and I grabbed the meaty one on the bottom and we pulled for 1 second before we heard the squishy, ripping sound of the deer's decimated leg coming off of it's hip and into the cop's hand. The cop ran and threw up in the bush.
I went to help him out, and we're both totally laughing at this moment and he's screaming something "This is fuckin gross!" and "Holy shit kid did you pop this sucker with a firecracker ?" and we're having a good ol time. The cop decides to call the fire department to have them bring the tanker up the hill and hose the road off, hoping to push the carcass into the bush for the time being.
I drove by the next day and the road was streaked was red ... looked like the border gates of the Gaza Strip. CRX was ok, and the front airdam pulled out and was good to go. Radiator support bent and the radiator itself slightly ruptured. It took many weeks to get the deer hair and bits off the bottom of the car, but I managed to.
But the smell.....
OH yeah and the engine stopped when I hit him because his nose and mouth turn upwards into my pulley and stretched the side of his face to the alternator.
bonus points for sluttage with 
