I Bullshited the boss today

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H

h22bubbleback

Senior Member
today i called out sick again. i used the line. [sob]'A gas line broke when they were cuttin a tree down in front of my house, and all the trucks and officials are blockin my driveway and wont let me get in my house or let me leave w/ my car.'[/sob] lie

so i was just wondering what are some "good" lines you guys drop to get out of work. im running out of my own :p
 
I haven't called in to work for awhile, I usually say I have an exam or a class ran late, something having to deal with college.
 
I tell em Im working on a friends car... and thats about it...
 
When I was working as an electrician for the school district, me and my crew went out to the local titty bar in the area we were working in for lunch.

cant remember exactly how much we drank, but me and my buddy tossed down around a 12 pack each.

needless to say we were inebriated and didnt feel like going back to work.

Called my boss and the convo went like this:


Me: Hey Chris, it's tony
Chris: Hey tony whats up?

Me: Nothin much. I'm calling in drunk and going home after lunch.
Chris: hahahahaha no seriously

Me: Seriously, I'm fucked up.
Chris: hahaha ok whatevers dude. See you tomorrow.

Why lie?
 
alot of the mechanics at my work live an aprtment building about a block away from the dealer so if they call in the service manger can go to thier house


but me, i tell my boss that my daughter is sick
 
i usually just use the food poisoning excuse (stomach is all F'd up ... must have been something i ate)
 
i put on the sick voice...

but one of the best ones i ever heard used was 'i have vertigo'
 
"I'm golfing"

Having an exorbant amount of sick time at my disposal allows me to do whatever the hell I want.

:)
 
Yeah, I can take off any day I want, I just don't get paid for it. Tough luck.

My boss told me I had state minimum vacation time and accrual. I just looked at him, and said "If I want a day off, I'm staying home" and he said "You aren't getting paid for it" and I said "Fine" and he said "Fine" and crossed his arms.

Sometimes hes a funny guy.

-> Steve
 
Sicks days wtf are those :( I have not called out from work yet at my current job of 2 years. We have such a small staff that it isn't possible sometimes unless I am on my death bed. What sucks is I used up all of my sicks days back in Feb when I hurt my back.
 
I am my boss, so it's hard to use a line on myself when I don't want to show up. One time, I showed up late, so I fired myself, but then I got pissed and robbed the register. Unfortunately, I caught me, so I called the cops and had myself busted. Fucking employees.
 
:lmao:

i wish i was my own boss.

i usually use the "powers out" because we have vintage above-ground electicity, so it goes out quite often here in the stix.
 
I call into a number and press numeric keys...you guys are a bunch of tools, hah. I don't have to lie, if I feel like not working, I just call in and 30 seconds later, I am done.
 
Ok I work at burger king and I work full time so its really tough to get someone to cover your shift if your sick, so you can't really call ins ick.

I'll call into work and say I'm showing up but I don't feel good, this way they'll call some trainee and tell them they might be working. Right when I get there I'll either puke into the main sink(I can puke if I clench real hard and attempt to cough and swallow) or one time I ran to the bathroom and layed a stinky ass shit and said I had the runs. They're like you're fucked up, so theys end me home, and really they felt bad for me so its almost sincere.

I've only had to do this 3x.

One time I couldn't throw up when I was on the clock, but I really did feel sick, and ofcourse I go on my break and I end up blowing chunks into my hand and a trash can, and I felt better afterwards, so cleaned myself up and just went back to work.
 
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