My life is not what it should be right now.

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well since you aint a minitrucker i cant tell you to go rail your ride or go out to the garage and work on it but i can tell you to just keep your head level bro. right now you need to be with your mom because she is the most important woman in your life. spend time with her and be with her as much as possible because she needs you more than ever at this time. dont worry about other girls right now, just worry about your mom.

as far as your friends go, your true friends will be there for you in your time of need.

job wise, i dont know anything about the construction field, but if your not happy with it, look around some. something better may come along soon for ya. especially when you least expect it.

overall advice: keep your headup and if you need anything, we here at HondaSwap are down to helping other members in our community in their time of need. good luck bro.
 
In all honesty, Jordon, you're a real smart young guy and things will work out for you.

You're always cool, calm, and collected. You're intelligent and driven.

Remember to always keep your chin up and be true to yourself. Those girls that don't see you for who you are now are still too immature to understand true feelings, emotions, and relationships. The girl who is mature enough to understand those ideas will be the girl that everything works out as expected.

Look at me, I'm a dumb young guy thats not the prettiest boy around nor do I sport the most amazing body anymore, possess the best attitude, or act the most mature. Unfortunately for good guys like yourself, girls in their college years appear as if they tend to lust after morons like myself. Fortunately for you, you have plenty of time in future years to find a loving, caring, mature young woman who will be there for you.
I know you're looking for something meaningful and more than just a body to grind against, which is quite difficult to find especially if you're so desperately out there looking. I've had a countless number of girls and girlfriends in the last year alone and only have I ever had one that was "wifey material". She cared and continues to care about be unconditionally and accepts me for who I am. My ego caused me to break up with her and push her away simply because I didn't feel as though her looks were up to the caliber that I was capable of achieving. I know you're intelligent enough that you won't make a mistake like that.

Just understand you'll find love where you least expect it and you'll eventually find it, but be careful. I speak from experience when I say that before you give yourself to a person you should completely understand who that person is or else you'll be left hurt. Even the most callous asshole like myself winds up hurt in situations such as that.
 
Well I had a friend over, a girl, one that you ian and I have discussed in the past, that stood me up countless times. Well I've been on a good track standing her up probably 1x a week for the past 2 months, and well decided to give in and hang out with her. It was nice. She definitely wanted me. She was like I can't stay here, you have to work and we'll be up all night, kind of stuff but more insinuations none the less. Still I pushed her away, cuz I know I can do better.

We had a good time none the less, just she definitely put me on the whim before and I'm not about to put myself out there to get hurt or anything.



And I'm plastered. A whole fifth of triple sec, 1/2 fifth of skyy and 1/2 fifth of orange bacardi. But still. Doing this made me think about things a lot more. I think this week I'm g[oing to gohome and stay with my mom a night, make her breakfast and take care of her chores(has a huge farm of animals in a duplex that need tons of tending) before I go to school or somtehing along those lines. I just don't want to miss it. I'm getting a tat this weekend or the following weekend. I'll post pictures when I get a chance afterwards.
 
So its friday. I'm needing to vent. This is like a blog for me, I just find everyone's input very helpful.


I sticked with my company. New company wasn't going to be flexible around my hours. My boss at Icon Builders is having me run my own jobsite starting next tuesday. I'm in charge, firing, etc. I get the power. But, I know this is bs, because the guys that are starting for me, will make way more than I will, just because I'm naive, ignorant stupid. I don't want to quit, or even ask for money because I NEED my job, as its pretty much work whenever you feel like it, as long as it gets done.


I worked out an abundance this week. More than usual, but I also ate like dog shit yesterday, had thai food. I feel I'm not making gains like I should so I'm going to start the real deal coming monday. Strict ass diet. I also spent wayy too much money on food this past week. I'm going to be fucked on food until next pay period(two weeks) I just don't know how I'm going to get by unless I work next saturday/sunday which sounds like I will, on my own job site.


Girls are pissing me off. They come and go. I'm like trying to ditch them, but I always give in. I just stopped responding, and completely blew off a girl last night. I just don't have time for the drama, but I don't want to be alone. I mean I'm cool being alone, its just nice having someone in your life as an equal. I'm definitely a guy's guy and such, but its fun to have someone to hang out with and to talk to. A couple girls seem like they're interested in me, but its like I don't want those types of girls(beer whores) and the only one I want to take out is seriously playing the hardest to get, and its getting super frustrating, because I'm super far for the next few weeks so I have to be super patient, and I'm very impulsiv most of the time.


My old buddy and I are ok now. I just still don't want to be around him, but I know this summer he will be around 24/7(works for my pops), if he doesn't get fired by then.


My mom well is doing ok. Better than last week. Only used her 4 post cain to walk, and now is looking forward to actually being able to walk often without using her walker in the house. She's pissing me off though. I've been paying her rent, and recently I had to loan my brother money so he didn't lose his new house, I am tending to enjoy too much. I don't have much to give, but it seems everyone has their hand in my pockets these days. My mom calls me and is like hey my rent's due the 8th, I need the money by then. I clearly informed her last week, I had to let my bro borrow money(on the DL for his own face value) and I don't have much for the next couple weeks until I get caught up on my own bills(I'm slightly ahead). But she thinks I'm just a big piggy bank and can shake me. Starts yelling at me, and hangs up saying what am I going to do I don't want to talk to you again, blah blah and some bull shit. I don't fucking know. I can't pay for everything, and every weekend I go home, half the side job money usually goes straight into her pocket for her bills. I don't know how I'm going to get her rent this month, but I might be selling some shit soon.



Tonight I start my motorcycle class. I'm looking forward to it, but I really want to just relax and not worry today. I have a stats test in a couple hours, and I'm freaking out typing this. Not doing me much good being on here, but my mind is filling to the brim with thoughts and I'm getting frustrated because they're just running together.


[/thought process is over]
 
Although I can't yield my own advice right now since I'm jaded, but don't worry about the women. They'll come to you. I'm at the same point as you right now, its no longer sufficient to settle for a one nighter or superficial relationship.

In terms of your job and asking for money, it never hurts to explain to your employer your current situation and this is key, why you merit more money. The raise may be minimal but a small raise is better than no raise.

In terms of your mother....that baffles my mind. You're a giving person, there's a time when people have to see that life isn't just about taking. If I were you, I would probably be jaded and extremely turned off by the idea that someone views me as a dollar sign rather than a person, especially if its my own mother.

Just try to live within your means. It shouldn't be necessary for people like your brother to be asking you for money after he just purchased a new house. If people learn to live well within their means than they'll be able to make payments and bills without the heart ache of trying to scrape by every week. It was quite nice of you and giving to loan him that money.

Stay strong.
 
Jordon, you're probably out already but uh yeah take it easy and don't kill yourself tonight. Come back in one piece, bud.
 
Haven't left the house yet. I'm taking the MSF course this weekend, so I can't be super beligerient, I need to be sober by 12:30 tomorrow.
 
Evil eye is the shit.


Drink 2. And then a half bottle of skyy. Then you'll be a champion like me.


:) .
 
keep strong.....youll survive and yes ask for a raise and explain your situation to them itll help even if its a small raise....

just remember.....we all love you here at hondaswap
 
Got my endoresement today, in the rain. Dumping rain.

cb125's are piles. I don't care what anyone says. Bike was a complete dog.
 
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