NO SEX TONIGHT!

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Dustin_m

Member
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so
much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have
never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into
bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel
like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me
to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look
by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in
the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to
take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We
went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond
earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was
one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because
she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play
tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel
like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
WHAT?"

I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're
just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy
your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she
was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and
not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.




:lol: :lol: got it from entensity, pretty funny shit
 
I get the run around a lot - my girl tells me she dosnt feel sexually motivated till a week (appx) before her period! so one week of the month we have fun the others are all just damn dick teasing hell!
 
Originally posted by b204dr@Mar 11 2005, 10:59 AM
I get the run around a lot - my girl tells me she dosnt feel sexually motivated till a week (appx) before her period! so one week of the month we have fun the others are all just damn dick teasing hell!
[post=472258]Quoted post[/post]​


Stick it to her while she's sleeping.
 
breeder instincts-- we use the glove to make love no breeding needed right now
 
My girl is revved up for sex almost every time I am, dunno what yall are doing wrong.
 
Originally posted by reckedracing@Mar 11 2005, 07:09 PM
my girl tells me she dosnt feel sexually motivated till a week (appx) before her period!


lol, god damn breeder instincts...

feed her drinks y0 :)
jesus juice rules...
lmao...
[post=472264]Quoted post[/post]​

Are you of the alternative lifestyle? Just asking because my old roomate was as gay is the day is long, and that was the last time I heard "breeder".
 
Originally posted by TurboMirage@Mar 11 2005, 01:18 PM
i get laid just about every night... :)
[post=472269]Quoted post[/post]​


me too....i know when she doesnt want to because she doesnt get into it too much..(who cares) all i want is some sweet poontang!!!!!


if she doesnt want to give it to you....do what i do.....dont sleep with her when she wants you to......she'll probably end up thinking you're cheating. and she'll be more attentive to your needs.. B)
 
I was gone during that time, so sorry, my bad.

lol, i was j/k dude...
well, it is a repost, but i wasn't being harsh about it or anything...
still got a chuckle out of me...

Stick it to her while she's sleeping.

lol
i was sleep fucking... (instead of sleep walking)

breeder instincts-- we use the glove to make love no breeding needed right now

not about actually making babies...
this is common in females, when they are ovulating or whatever their body tells them they want sex... similar to how female cats with whine and moan and shit when they are in "heat"... your woman is in heat...

if she doesnt want to give it to you....do what i do.....dont sleep with her when she wants you to......she'll probably end up thinking you're cheating. and she'll be more attentive to your needs..

:werd: its weird how women work...

Are you of the alternative lifestyle? Just asking because my old roomate was as gay is the day is long, and that was the last time I heard "breeder".

lol, no i'm not gay, but i'm forced to listen to gay NPR all day...
 
Originally posted by reckedracing@Mar 11 2005, 10:41 PM
Are you of the alternative lifestyle? Just asking because my old roomate was as gay is the day is long, and that was the last time I heard "breeder".

lol, no i'm not gay, but i'm forced to listen to gay NPR all day...
[post=472371]Quoted post[/post]​

Ahh ok, it was just funnny because I hadn't heard that term in a few years.
 
Ahh ok, it was just funnny because I hadn't heard that term in a few years.


werd, i think i also heard it on will and grace?

my boss is gay so i'm around the "lifestlye" all the time...
i guess its considered an insult?
lol
like, well at least i'm not a breeder... :blink:
 
Not really an insult, just an expression.
 
Originally posted by formby@Mar 11 2005, 04:05 PM
if she doesnt want to give it to you....do what i do.....dont sleep with her when she wants you to......she'll probably end up thinking you're cheating. and she'll be more attentive to your needs.. B)
[post=472343]Quoted post[/post]​

i was just about to give that advice. sad but true. even works well with a girl you havent been dating that long.
 
Originally posted by TurboMirage@Mar 11 2005, 10:18 AM
i get laid just about every night... :)
[post=472269]Quoted post[/post]​


dood...my gurl always want the penis... even when we are broken up...she still wants the penis...there is something wrong with ya'llz gurls. every gurl i have been with either wants it more than i or just as much as i so i dunno
 
Originally posted by Lshatch916+Mar 12 2005, 02:18 AM-->
TurboMirage
@Mar 11 2005, 10:18 AM
i get laid just about every night... :)
[post=472269]Quoted post[/post]​


dood...my gurl always want the penis... even when we are broken up...she still wants the penis...there is something wrong with ya'llz gurls. every gurl i have been with either wants it more than i or just as much as i so i dunno
[post=472546]Quoted post[/post]​


word. my girlfriend most of the time initiates our sex. i always call her a horny bastard. but why the hell would i complain??
 
lol, i still have girls stuck on me too. There's this one girl I've known for 5 years. She doesn't understand that I'm not going to have sex with her...5 years she's been trying to get me to have sex with her, back in the day I was going to but EVERY FUCKING TIME something interupted it. Like garbage men or some fat kid wanting pizza, or this little dueshbag that we were supposed to be babysitting...or the other two of them. Someone falling through the door because the door couldn't hold up to the multiple people falling into it after a keg stand.

I'm not joking either, it's true. We went like 20 miles into the middle of fucking no where and we're in the car in the beginning stages of......, all of a sudden these motherfuckers in there goddamn SUVs roll up and hop out in there fucking hunting uniforms.

Uhhmm, last week was kinda interesting, neither of them were my girlfriend but let's just say that was an interesting night.
 
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