We may earn a small commission from affiliate links and paid advertisements. Terms
I guess Vince won.
LMAOTexts From Last Night (972): they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
You don’t need a TRUNKLOAD of TALENT and you don’t even need any CHARM! Hi! Willie Blay here for CHUTZPAH, the revolutionary new way to do things that’ll change the WAY you DO THINGS - forever! That’s the Chutzpah promise!
How much would YOU pay for the secret to FORTUNE and FAME for those of us not blessed with any special physical or mental gifts? Four dollars? Eighteen dollars? Five billion dollars? I can do better than that: I’m giving the secret away FREE! It’s not like I need the money where I’m going! The secret is CHUTZPAH, a groundbreaking new formula that unlocks the power of sheer NERVE to pave the way to a richer, more confident, and richer you!
It’s all in not caring what people think! Remember this acronym: HGH! It stands for “Haters Gonna Hateâ€, and it reminds you that some people just LOVE to make themselves look SMARTER by tearing down OTHERS! What do you care what some overeducated copywriter from St. Louis thinks of you? The answer is YOU DON’T! If that guy was so smart, he’d be living in a fabulous MANSION like yours instead of a vinyl-siding shack in St. Louis!
Remember another acronym: RAA! That stands for “Remember Another Acronymâ€! And the acronym I’m talking about there is ABC: Always Be Chutzpahing! Here, let me demonstrate.
Take a normal, everyday e-commerce customer – that’s you! Then take a pretty typical household product: a Roomba 530 Robotic Vacuum! When you’ve got CHUTZPAH, that Roomba becomes a “full-service household valetâ€! Its counter-rotating Bristle Brush and Beater Brush magically transform into “two dynamite blasts against carpet-bound crudâ€! The Spot Clean and Dirt Detect functions? “Advanced artificial intelligence scanning your environment for foreign contaminantsâ€! A minute ago, you were about to fall asleep – now you can’t click that “I WANT ONE†button fast enough. THAT’s the POWER of Chutzpah!
Seeing is believing, am I right? You put in the hours like me and you can be a HOUSEHOLD NAME like me, with the fortune to match! It’s all in the CHUTZPAH! But wait! Call now and I’ll triple my offer at no extra cost to you! No, that doesn’t make any sense – but it doesn’t have to make sense when you’ve got CHUTZPAH! Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to move on to another mortal plane. You call it the afterlife – I call it a brand-new market! I just hope they have blue shirts up there!