eat hot pockets. or anything else that would give you the runs normally. i mean no one likes that but its better than what you describes as sideways poo made of razorblades.
So my trip to Ireland might be a little uncomfy now...
- Thread starter importjdmcivic
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importjdmcivic
Its the NUGE!
Well before i took a shower today i decided to take a good look to see how im healing back there. And to my amazement....i fucking ripped my stitches. God damn me. The hole is pretty much all healed up except where the drain tube is and where the stitches were. Where the stitches were is a gap. Its not very deep but you can tell that they ripped out and the skin kinda pulled apart a little. Im going to the doctor tomorrow to get my stitches out but i dont know what they are going to do when they see that they ripped out. Wish me luck guys.
StealthMode
Kung Foolin'
Damn dude, that sucks. Just pray that you won't have to get your new asshole restitched. 
Try to refrain from any movement that might cause your wound to stretch. When you sit down, do it slow. Try to stand more than you sit, etc.
Try to refrain from any movement that might cause your wound to stretch. When you sit down, do it slow. Try to stand more than you sit, etc.
Speedracer228
......
damn that sucks, hope ur ass feels better
and this is def on the list for thread of the year
and this is def on the list for thread of the year
tylonalsnifnfool
Senior Member
TTIWWOP.
J/K
J/K
StealthMode
Kung Foolin'
I think the drawing was just about enough, lol.
importjdmcivic
Its the NUGE!
Well i got it checked out today and it had even ripped open a little more from last night. Well the doctor said he had expected it to tear and hes happy to see that its doing as god as it is. They pulled out what was left of the stitches and the drain tube. And now there is a hole where the drain tube was. I have to get gauze and put a corner on a long q-tip and pack the hole with the gauze. The dude that took me to the hospital today had to come in the room and watch what the doctor did because the doctor said for someone else to do it. So i def had one of my friends just staring at my ass hole while the doctor was pullin out the gauze he had just stuck in there just to put more in again. Haha mannnn the embarassment just keeps coming. Im thinking of taking a picture of it and my story and sending it to Maxim or Stuff or FHM and see if they will put it in one of there mags. Is there a section in any of those that i could get money for my whole predicament?
importjdmcivic
Its the NUGE!
Oh also i forgot. I took a pic of my ass the other day when i still had the drain tube in it after i discovered that the stitches were ripped out. You can see right beside the drain tube where there is a gap in my butt cheek. I can post the pic through a hyperlink if anyone actually wants to see it. Someone can photochop my ass all they want if they need a good laugh or something.
tylonalsnifnfool
Senior Member
j/k= JUST KIDDING. I would rather not see a pisture of your ass hole'S.
importjdmcivic
Its the NUGE!
thats what all my friends said, haha
Thats true...
importjdmcivic
Its the NUGE!
Well this is going to be my last update to the "ripping myself a new asshole story". I went to see the surgeon again yesterday and get a check up and make sure my ass wasn't going to rot off. Well he took a gander at the 2nd A'hole and told me that its healing perfectly except for one thing. He told me that young healthy people heal faster than old or not healthy people, and that i was healing too fast. He said something about me healing to fast and the skin forming a ridge or something. I dont really know what was going on because he was using all these crazy anatomy/doctor terms that i didn't know. Well then he told me he was going to have to cauterize part of the 2nd A'hole to get rid of the fuck up that healing too fast had produced. I expected a shot of numbing juice and no pain. Wow was i wrong. He says to me, "This is going to sting a little." He is a god damn liar. It didn't "sting" a little, it was like having molten steel poured into my wound. DAMN it hurt so bad. Lucky for me he prescribed me another bottle of hydrocodones. But other than the immense pain of cauterizing a wound with no anaesthesia, everything is going good. The only bad part about my accident now, is that in 2 weeks he wants to get a little scope/camera thingy and stick it up my pooper to make sure everything is good in there.
To everyone who has read my post, thanks for laughing with and at me. Its been a great story. Oh and my lady friend that was on a "date" with me when it happened is now officially my girlfriend/whatever the fuck you want to call it. We are in a monogamous relationship with each other...and its been great so far, and is only getting better
To everyone who has read my post, thanks for laughing with and at me. Its been a great story. Oh and my lady friend that was on a "date" with me when it happened is now officially my girlfriend/whatever the fuck you want to call it. We are in a monogamous relationship with each other...and its been great so far, and is only getting better
oh nice hahaha
