I think sometimes we all look too deeply into this.
We come up with ultimate, grand-unification theories (me) or we address the situation with spitting disdain and low-brow retardation (PIITB and boot her to the curb) without remembering that these people we are talking about are either really young, and operate below certain levels, or really too important to be given levels that are too low (We miss our mark)
General rules of thumb: Everyone likes to be treated as a human. pouring booze down her throat and threatening her with humiliation for not letting you stick your dick in her isn't what anyone wants. Anything higher than that won't happen, anything lower than that is rape.
If you're interested, show her your interest - Don't be creepy. There is a millisecond difference between "The look of interest" and "The soul-shattering stare of a donkey raping madman". Know your limits.
Everything in between is up to you and your habits. If your habits don't parallel, or at least come close to your target's habits - Then it simply isn't meant to be. What makes it close to the target or close enough for excusabiltiy ? Random fucking chance. If my 19 year old Goth girl thought I came on too strong there were two choices: I could change myself (Likely to pretend, more likely to fail, as her acts did with me) or I could pound sand up my ass (most likely of all). Nothing personal. She doesn't hate me, I don't hate her - We're just too goddam different to court.
Lastly you all, we all really need to get in touch with ourselves and those around us. We need more time alone, quiet to think about things than we grant ourselves. And dammit man, we really need to give others time to think and contemplate the situation as well. I fail at this one hardcore - because I usually draw my conclusions before someone is done speaking the 3 syllable, and I am also stuck on the crazy notion that I can read minds and predict the future (although my predictions are rarely off, quantum theory has laid waste to my sense of time flow, and I remember the future so well that I can predict what you think - And somehow when I drop a dumpster full of legos on the ground, a perfectly formed castle forms. Boggles even my mind)