Yo momma joke thread

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yo momma is like a great white shark, she swallows every man she can get her mouth on.
 
Yo mama's so old, I told her to act her age and the bitch died.
 
yo momma is so nasty your dad ate her out and got food poisoning
 
yo momma is so big, black and ugly, people think she is notorious b.i.g.
 
your mama is so old she has to use tape to keep her skin up!!!

yo mama so fat ,she went to the bathroom sat on the toilet and the toilet said a,b,c,d,e,f,g get your fat ass off of me!
 
your mother's so fat it takes a train and two buses to get on the bitch's good side.
 
your mama is so dumb she thought a quarterback was a refund.

your mama is so stupid, when someone said it was chilly outside, she went and got a bowl.
 
yo mama so ugly it looks like she got hit in the face with a hot sack of nickles

yo mama's so fat her senior picture was an ariel photo

or an updated version

yo mama so fat the bitch can be seen on Google Erff nicka!
 
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ok this thread is getting CORNY......


Yo mama's so stupid, she spent twenty minutes lookin' at an orange juice box because it said "concentrate".

Yo mama's so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to makeup her mind.

Yo mama's so stupid, she thought Grape Nuts was an STD.

Yo mama's so stupid, she saw a billboard that said "Dodge Trucks" and she started ducking through traffic.

Yo mama's so stupid, she uses Old Spice for cooking.

Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks sexual battery is something in a dildo.

Yo mama's so stupid, the first time she used a vibrator, she cracked her two front teeth.

Yo mama's so stupid, when she took you to the airport and a sign said "Airport Left," she turned around and went home.

Yo mama's so stupid, she thought she could get food stamps at the post office.

Yo mama's so stupid that under "Education" on her job application, she put "Hooked on Phonics."

Yo mama's so stupid, it takes her 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes.

Yo mama's so stupid, on her job application where it says emergency contact she



Yo mama's so ugly, her shadow quit.

Yo mama's so ugly, she could only be Yo mama.

Yo mama's so ugly, they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower.

Yo mama's so ugly, they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies.

Yo mama's so ugly, when she looks in the mirror, the reflection ducks.

Yo mama's so ugly, her birth certificate was an apology letter from the condom factory.

Yo mama's so ugly, she looks like she's been in a dryer filled with rocks.

Yo mama's so ugly, she looks like her face caught on fire and they put it out with a fork.

Yo mama's so ugly, her mom had to be drunk to breastfeed her.

Yo mama's so ugly, she couldn't get laid in a prison with a handful of pardons.

Yo mama's so ugly, when she moved into the projects, all her neighbors chipped in for curtains.

Yo mama's so ugly, they rub tree branches on her face to make ugly sticks.

Yo mama's so ugly, her mama had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dog to play with her.

Yo mama's so ugly, even the tide won't take her out.

Yo mama's so ugly, people go as her for Halloween.

Yo mama's so ugly, when she cries, tears run down the back of her neck.

Yo mama's so ugly, she has to creep up on her makeup.

Yo mama was such an ugly baby, her parents had to feed her with a slingshot.


Yo mama's so old, I told her to act her age and the bitch died.

Yo mama's so old, she owes Fred Flintstone a food stamp.

Yo mama's so old, the key on Ben Franklin's kite was to her apartment.

Yo mama's so old, her memory is in black and white.

Yo mama's so old, her social security number is 1.

Yo mama's so old, her birth-certificate expired.

Yo mama's so old, she has a picture of Jesus in her yearbook.

Yo mama's so old, she knew Mr. Clean when he had an afro.

Yo mama's so old, she's got Jesus' beeper number.

Yo mama's so old, when she was in school there was no history class.

Yo mama's so old, when she reads the bible she reminisces.

Yo mama's so old, when she was born, the Dead Sea was just getting sick.

Yo mama's so old, she called the cops when David and Goliath started to fight.



Yo mama's so fat, when she ran away, they had to put her picture on the milk truck.

Yo mama's so fat, when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips.

Yo mama's so fat, when she dances at a club, she makes the band skip.

Yo mama's so fat, on Halloween she trick or treats two houses at a time.

Yo mama's so fat, I had to take a train and two busses just to get on her good side.

Yo mama's so fat, when she ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton.

Yo mama's so fat, she fills up the bath tub, and then she turns on the water.

Yo mama's so fat, they had to grease a door frame and hold a Twinkie on the other side to get her through.

Yo mama's so fat, when she gets in an elevator, it HAS to go down.

Yo mama's so fat, when she was diagnosed with the flesh eating disease, the doctor gave her 5 years to live.

Yo mama's so fat, her picture takes two frames.

Yo mama's so fat, when your dad climbs on top of her, his ears pop.

Yo mama's so fat, every time she wears high heels, she strikes oil.

Yo mama's so fat, her blood type is Ragu.

Yo mama's so fat, when I climbed up on top of her, I burned my ass on the lightbulb.

Yo mama's so fat, the back of her neck looks like a pack of hot-dogs.

Yo mama's so fat, she DJ's for the ice cream truck.

Yo mama's so fat, when she takes a shower, her feet don't get wet.

Yo mama's so fat, she can't wear Dazzey Dukes. She has to wear Boss Hoggs.

Yo mama's so fat, the shadow of her ass weighs 50 pounds.

Yo mama's so fat, the bitch jumped in the air and got stuck.

Yo mama's so fat, her lipstick comes in a spray can.

Yo mama's so fat, she sat on a dollar and made change.

Yo mama's so fat, her skates went flat.

Yo mama's so fat, when her beeper goes off people think she is backing up.

Yo mama's so fat, when she was born, she didn't get a birth certificate, she got blue prints.
 
All I can think of is the movie 'What's Eating Gilbert Grape?' where they had to use a crane to get the dead woman out of the house... but nothing 'snappy' comes to mind.
 
*sniff* i made all of mine up... maybe corny but at least original :D
 
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