UNDR8D
...has a job!
I'm sure nobody noticed but I haven't posted in a while. I recently flew home to receive competent medical attention because I developed a strange and perplexing problem. It all started about two months ago, right before Easter. One night my right leg started to hurt. It was a sharp pain which I would liken to Sciatica. In fact, that's probably what it is. When the pain started I did what any rational person would do, and began to take Advil regularly. About two weeks into taking Advil for my leg, my mouth started to get extremely hot and dry, like, I was ALWAYS thirsty and couldn't really satisfy it, ever. I started drinking about 3 or 4 gallons of liquid a day and pissing incessantly, like, every half hour or so. The thirst persisted and soon, my hands, feet, face, elbows, etc. started to dry out as well. I didn't pay much attention to it. I'm pretty healthy so I figured it would fix itself. I theorized that it was the Advil and, if I stopped taking it, the thirst and dry mouth would go away. Now, because I was drinking so much and pissing so much, I had to get up AT LEAST every hour at night. I was falling behind on sleep. It started to get really bad. In fact, it got much worse. I started to lose sleep and soon I began to feel delirious. I never slept more than 45 minutes at a time. I lost my appetite and couldn't hold down solid foods or milk, which was devastating because I live on milk. I made it through finals but barely. It got to the point where I couldn't leave the house because I needed constant liquid and was pissing every 20 minutes. My body was literally screaming for liquid. Sometimes I would drink so much I would fill my stomach completely and have to puke. It was never enough. Meanwhile, I'm still losing sleep to the point where I'm not really sleeping. Even if I didn't have to piss every 20 minutes, I didn't have the energy to get dressed and go anywhere. I was at an all time physical low. I've been tired before but this was different...much worse. After finals everyone left the area. I decided to go to the hospital (West Virginia FTMFL) to try to get help. The ER doctor was convinced I was diabetic, even though my blood sugar was only 94. The blood tests came back negative so the douche bag sends me on my way with Prednisone, offering no real help at all. I took the Prednisone and it only made things worse. All the doctors and nurses I have dealt with since then can not understand why they would have prescribed that to me. My heart rate got all jacked up and I felt feverish at all times. My girlfriend stuck around for a few days but had to fly home on the 13th. I was alone and felt like I was dying. Every day my body felt more deteriorated. I can't put in to words how much I felt like death. I wasn't sleeping and wasn't eating. So, I decided the only way I was going to get any real help is if I flew home to NH to seek competent medical attention. The first day back I went to the ER at a good hospital. They took nearly 600 vials of blood and urine and did every test possible. Everything came back ok, (blood sodium and osmolality, urine sodium and osmolality, thyroid, liver, kidney, CT scan, everything!). I half expected to be told I had an inoperable brain tumor. Well, after nearly a whole day in the ER a very astute doctor and his PA presented me with a possible solution. They theorized that I had a strange and rarely seen condition called Diabetes Insipidus. This occurs when the pituitary gland does not produce of enough or the kidneys do not recognize the anti-diuretic hormone DDAVP aka ADH. Normally, your body will retain a level of the fluid that you intake and distribute it appropriately. Without this hormone, it will just piss it all the fuck out. This explains why I was always thirsty and why my appendages were drying out. I went to see a very bright Endocrinologist who agreed with the diagnosis. Since there is no way to directly test for the hormone, we had to take the long route. He had me do a 24 hour urine collection. The lab gave me 4 half-gallon jugs. I filled those plus 4 gallon milk jugs, and one 2 quart juice bottle, for a total of 6.5 gallons of piss. I also was told to monitor my fluid intake that day. I drank 6.2 gallons. The Endocrinologist was very sure about his diagnosis but wanted to be 100% sure. A few days later I checked into the hospital again to do a water deprivation test. You can't drink any liquid at all while they monitor your urine and vitals and take blood every hour to see what is happening to you. The test normally takes between 12-24 hours. It took me only 4.5 hours to reach critical levels of dehydration, etc. After that, they gave me a shot of the hormone. Within 30 minutes my piss concentrated and turned yellow again and I felt markedly better. So, the diagnosis was official. I have Diabetes Insipidus. The Endocrinologist said he has only diagnosed it twice in 10 years. Normally the only people who have pituitary based Insipidus are people with brain cancer or people who received head trauma in some sort of accident. I have been involved in neither. How the fuck did this happen? We don't know. I now have to take a hormone pill several times a day, potentially for the rest of my life. Is that fucked up or what?