So if anyone read in the Memorial day post, I wrote that I was attending a HOOOGE party last night. Sure as shit, the party was monstrous. My friends Mike, Chaz, Alex(Stealthmode) and I drove down to the party which was way south from where we all live. We get there and there are some SWEETASS Hot Rods out front. A nice 23 T-Bucket, a SS Chevelle, a 39 Ford and some other stuff. Well, apparently dude that's throwing the party is loaded. House is LARGE! 5 car garage, $30,000 worth of Snap-On toolboxes, 3 kegerators, a couple slot machines...all sorts of shit. JUST IN THE GARAGE!! Turns out it was a Memorial Day/Son's Graduation Party. And all kinds of people were there, but the actual vagina level was unfortunatley quite low. My age vagina anyways.
So we start off the evening with the following:
12 pack of Blue Moon. (Bottles) - Mike and I
6 pack of Smirnoff Ice. (Rasberry) - Chaz
6 pack of Coronas. (Bottles) - Alex
1 750ml Bacardi Razz - Everyone
Start drinking, eating, having a good time, tried some Colorado Moonshine (190proof) WOW!! FUCK MOONSHINE!! Everything was going good. Chaz, Alex and I met 5 chicks like 3 houses down from the party that were getting drunk inside their house, but they ditched us and left. BITCHES!!
Now that all hopes of getting laid are COMPLETELY gone....it's time to drown my sorrows in alcohol. The 12 pack had 2 left, the 2 sixpacks had 1 left and that's when the rum came out. We all started taking some shots, and went back to the party. (Alcohol was in the back of my 4Runner.) Get back in the garage, and my friend Sammy walks up to me with a full mason jar in his hand. Vodka and Lemonade. Mike and I and Sammy and this girl Jenny and her friend start swapping drinking storys, and when I get drunk, I CHUG! A LOT! HARD LIQUOR!! And Mike decided to bring this up. That's when Sammy and Jenny decided they wanted to call bullshit. Jeff grabs Sammys mason jar and downs it. ALL OF IT! I'm here to tell you, I don't think there was any lemonade in it! LOL!
I'M OFFICIALLY FUCKED UP!! I have the rum in one hand, my last Blue Moon in the other and I'm feeling good right? Well, I was. Untill some douchebag comes up and want's a shot of my rum. I'm generous so I let him hit it, and he thinks it's a good idea to walk off with someone elses shit! I TURN AROUND AND MY RUMS GONE!! I'm livid! I felt like Captain Jack Sparrow screaming, "Someones stolen the rum!!" I'm pissing the ENTIRE party off because I'm being loud and obnoxious and accusing everyone and calling names! Finally Alex ended up getting the rum back and he and Chaz walked it and me back to my truck. Alex is doing good, not drunk or not showing it, but Chaz and I are gone. That's when we decided that it would be a good idea to go streaking. We tried to convince this 60 year old dude and his same aged wife to go with us but they just chuckled and left. (I think the dude was definitly down, but the wife not so much! )
Off with clothes! Chaz and I went running off into the night! We started running up to houses and ringing doorbells, and to top it all off, the entire time we were screaming, "I'M THE FUCKING JUGGERNAUT, BITCH!!" at the top of our lungs. At least some small children who were watching us from their window screamed back that I was indeed, the Juggernaut! This lasted ooooohhh, right around an hour probably! And after that I blacked out. I woke up in the back seat of my truck in front of my house this morning at 5:30am. Came inside and went to bed. Woke up feeling perfect at 11:30am. Perfect way to start my day!
Hopefully some of you had as much fun as I did. My elbow hurts like a bitch though, because I fell down naked in the street!
:cliffnotes:
Went to huge party
Got WAY too drunk
Someone stole my rum
Went streaking screaming, "I'M THE FUCKING JUGGERNAUT, BITCH!!"
Blacked out and woke up in my truck in front of my house this morning.
The End!
So we start off the evening with the following:
12 pack of Blue Moon. (Bottles) - Mike and I
6 pack of Smirnoff Ice. (Rasberry) - Chaz
6 pack of Coronas. (Bottles) - Alex
1 750ml Bacardi Razz - Everyone
Start drinking, eating, having a good time, tried some Colorado Moonshine (190proof) WOW!! FUCK MOONSHINE!! Everything was going good. Chaz, Alex and I met 5 chicks like 3 houses down from the party that were getting drunk inside their house, but they ditched us and left. BITCHES!!
Now that all hopes of getting laid are COMPLETELY gone....it's time to drown my sorrows in alcohol. The 12 pack had 2 left, the 2 sixpacks had 1 left and that's when the rum came out. We all started taking some shots, and went back to the party. (Alcohol was in the back of my 4Runner.) Get back in the garage, and my friend Sammy walks up to me with a full mason jar in his hand. Vodka and Lemonade. Mike and I and Sammy and this girl Jenny and her friend start swapping drinking storys, and when I get drunk, I CHUG! A LOT! HARD LIQUOR!! And Mike decided to bring this up. That's when Sammy and Jenny decided they wanted to call bullshit. Jeff grabs Sammys mason jar and downs it. ALL OF IT! I'm here to tell you, I don't think there was any lemonade in it! LOL!
I'M OFFICIALLY FUCKED UP!! I have the rum in one hand, my last Blue Moon in the other and I'm feeling good right? Well, I was. Untill some douchebag comes up and want's a shot of my rum. I'm generous so I let him hit it, and he thinks it's a good idea to walk off with someone elses shit! I TURN AROUND AND MY RUMS GONE!! I'm livid! I felt like Captain Jack Sparrow screaming, "Someones stolen the rum!!" I'm pissing the ENTIRE party off because I'm being loud and obnoxious and accusing everyone and calling names! Finally Alex ended up getting the rum back and he and Chaz walked it and me back to my truck. Alex is doing good, not drunk or not showing it, but Chaz and I are gone. That's when we decided that it would be a good idea to go streaking. We tried to convince this 60 year old dude and his same aged wife to go with us but they just chuckled and left. (I think the dude was definitly down, but the wife not so much! )
Off with clothes! Chaz and I went running off into the night! We started running up to houses and ringing doorbells, and to top it all off, the entire time we were screaming, "I'M THE FUCKING JUGGERNAUT, BITCH!!" at the top of our lungs. At least some small children who were watching us from their window screamed back that I was indeed, the Juggernaut! This lasted ooooohhh, right around an hour probably! And after that I blacked out. I woke up in the back seat of my truck in front of my house this morning at 5:30am. Came inside and went to bed. Woke up feeling perfect at 11:30am. Perfect way to start my day!
Hopefully some of you had as much fun as I did. My elbow hurts like a bitch though, because I fell down naked in the street!
:cliffnotes:
Went to huge party
Got WAY too drunk
Someone stole my rum
Went streaking screaming, "I'M THE FUCKING JUGGERNAUT, BITCH!!"
Blacked out and woke up in my truck in front of my house this morning.
The End!