dumb joke of the day

[posol]

A guy gets on a plane and finds himself seated next to a cute blonde.
He immediately turns to her and makes his move. "You know, I've heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a Conversation with your fellow passenger. So let's talk."
The blonde had just opened a book but she closes it and says, "What would you like to discuss?"
He says "How about nuclear power?"
"OK" says the blonde. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff..... grass. Yet the deer excretes little pellets, the cow turns out a flat patty, and the horse produces muffins of dried poop. Why do you suppose that is?"
The guy is dumbfounded. Finally he replies, "I haven't the slightest idea."
"So tell me," says the blonde, "How is it that you feel qualified to talk about nuclear power when you don't know shit?"

 

[Battle Pope]

Maybe he's not a friggin' biologist? Christ. Damned women.

 

[hosmer]

what is this..............1985?

 

[posol]

i don't remember 1985..... maybe 1 or 2 memroies, but thats about it.

 

[reckedracing]

At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked a witness. "Isn't it true," he bellowed, "that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?" The witness stared out the window, as though he hadn't heard the question.

"Isn't it true that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?" the lawyer repeated. The witness still did not respond.

Finally, the judge leaned over and said, "Sir, please answer the question."

"Oh," the startled witness said, "I thought he was talking to you."

A man is in a hotel lobby and wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and his elbow pokes her in the breast. They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me." She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 436."

Two aliens landed on a farm. The farmer and his wife took the aliens in and showed them their way of life and everything. One day the farmer and his wife get to talking. The farmer asks his wife, "I wonder what the aliens do for sex?" The farmer's wife replied, "I don't know. Do you want to find out?" The farmer agrees.

So, that night, the farmer took the female alien up to one room while his wife took the male alien up to another room. As the wife was getting into bed, she looked down at the alien's pecker and starts laughing. "You've got to be kidding me!" she laughed.

The alien told her to wait for a moment. Then he slapped his cheeks and pulled his ears and the thing grew to a very impressive size. The next day, the farmer asks his wife, "So, how was your night?" She replied, "Oh, it was wonderful. It was the best night of my life! How was yours?" "Well, not so good," replied the farmer, "all she kept doing all night was slapping my cheeks and pulling my ears."

 

[B16RacerN2NR]

Quoted post[/post]]

Two aliens landed on a farm. The farmer and his wife took the aliens in and showed them their way of life and everything. One day the farmer and his wife get to talking. The farmer asks his wife, "I wonder what the aliens do for sex?" The farmer's wife replied, "I don't know. Do you want to find out?" The farmer agrees.

So, that night, the farmer took the female alien up to one room while his wife took the male alien up to another room. As the wife was getting into bed, she looked down at the alien's pecker and starts laughing. "You've got to be kidding me!" she laughed.

The alien told her to wait for a moment. Then he slapped his cheeks and pulled his ears and the thing grew to a very impressive size. The next day, the farmer asks his wife, "So, how was your night?" She replied, "Oh, it was wonderful. It was the best night of my life! How was yours?" "Well, not so good," replied the farmer, "all she kept doing all night was slapping my cheeks and pulling my ears."

 

[Celerity]

First one was far better.

And in 1985 I was 9 and building go karts and 2 stroke engines.. Oh god. You kids weren't even born.

 

[NissanNiNjA2nd]

A man is in a hotel lobby and wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and his elbow pokes her in the breast. They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me." She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 436."

This joke will continue for the next hundred years.

 

[B16RacerN2NR]

Quoted post[/post]]
First one was far better.

And in 1985 I was 9 and building go karts and 2 stroke engines.. Oh god. You kids weren't even born.

hey screw you, I was 2.

"Been smokin' since I was 2!"

 

[Capt. Orygun]

if I tried to hit on a chick and she started to talk about poop I'd get up and leave

 

[hosmer]

Quoted post[/post]]
First one was far better.

And in 1985 I was 9 and building go karts and 2 stroke engines.. Oh god. You kids weren't even born.

I was 8 and riding my ATV's



We had 2 Suzuki 230 Quadsports...those things were pissah when I was a kid

 

[TurboMirage]

i used to race a 230 quadsport it was awesom!

 

[driver1]

it wasnt in 1985 but i also had 3 suzuki quadsport 230's tha i rode for a few yrs i lved them shits. I could ride wheelies forever on one ofthose

 

[TurboMirage]

fuckin right!

the thing that pissed me off about them was when the swingarm bushes got worn, they would throw chains constantly. the remedy we found was either replacing the bushes atleast once a year, or run a spacer on the front sprocket and a 250 quadracer o-ring chain with a bunch of links taken out

 

[jamesA]

Quoted post[/post]]
A guy gets on a plane and finds himself seated next to a cute blonde.
He immediately turns to her and makes his move. "You know, I've heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a Conversation with your fellow passenger. So let's talk."
The blonde had just opened a book but she closes it and says, "What would you like to discuss?"
He says "How about nuclear power?"
"OK" says the blonde. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff..... grass. Yet the deer excretes little pellets, the cow turns out a flat patty, and the horse produces muffins of dried poop. Why do you suppose that is?"
The guy is dumbfounded. Finally he replies, "I haven't the slightest idea."
"So tell me," says the blonde, "How is it that you feel qualified to talk about nuclear power when you don't know shit?"

I don't believe it. A blonde woman making sense? bullshit.

 

[Celerity]

Quoted post[/post]]
I don't believe it. A <strike>blonde</strike> woman making sense? bullshit.

Corrected it for you.

 

[FFCiv]

i wasnt alive in 1985

 

[jamesA]

Quoted post[/post]]

Quoted post[/post]]
I don't believe it. A <strike>blonde</strike> woman making sense? bullshit.

Corrected it for you.

I'm not going to touch that shit.

 

[hondarin]

Quoted post[/post]]
First one was far better.

And in 1985 I was 9 and building go karts and 2 stroke engines.. Oh god. You kids weren't even born.

your the same age as my brother then...... he's an old fucker. j/k

 

[MugenCRX]

Quoted post[/post]]

Quoted post[/post]]
First one was far better.

And in 1985 I was 9 and building go karts and 2 stroke engines.. Oh god. You kids weren't even born.

I was 8 and riding my ATV's



We had 2 Suzuki 230 Quadsports...those things were pissah when I was a kid

I was conceived in 1985! And I had a sweet go-cart once.