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ever get the feeling that

Discussion in 'Members' Lounge' started by pissedoffsol, Sep 24, 2003.

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  1. pissedoffsol

    pissedoffsol RETIRED

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    now, don't get me wrong... i've had very few real relationships with girls... but i don't know. it just seems like no matter what i do, no matter how hard i try, no matter if i don't try at all, things just simply don't work. i end up fucking up by saying something, or doing something wrong. and i hate it.
    it just feels like theres no one out there that could ever truely understand me for who i am, what i want to be, and what i have to give.

    :( i dunno... im just all down right now. got in a huge "fight" with the girl i'm seeing, and frankly, after all the shit that went down tonight, im suprised that she still wants to talk to me.

    I just had another cigarette.... i have a headache now, my stomach is all fucked up, and on top of it all, i just feel like a pile of dog shit.

    i'm really beginning to truely think that i'm destined to be alone. the love i have to give just isn't wanted.... the love i want back just never comes in.
    and i know what everyone is going to say... you just haven't met the right one yet... well, i don't believe in it anymore. i don't think there is such a thing as the right one.

    i'm debating calling it off with her now so i don't hurt her or break her heart anymore than i already have. i don't want to do it, and i would love to see something come out of this.. but its been a week, and we've gotten into at least 4 pretty big arguements all because of shit i said or assumed.

    i don't even know why im typing this... it isn't making me feel any better, and im probably only going to get flamed for posting my personal life on a message board... but at this point, i don't know what to do. i'm getting to the point where i kinda just want to withdrawl from soceity- go live in the middle of no where, and never see anyone ever again, and die the lonely man that I am right now. The empty void inside of me just can't seemed to be filled, and i'm tired of hurting people trying to look for it.

    i find it almost amazing that i've made some pretty good friends on here. i talk to a lot of you on a regular basis, and i don't have a problem with it. But the second my emotions get involved in a relationship, i fuck up. and let me tell you, they come on too fucking fast. out of the 4 girls i seriously dated more than a couple days, i was thoroughly attached to them within about a week. This one, it took 3 days. wtf is wrong with me? i've known this girl for 3 days, and i'd gladly take a bullet for her. I should barely know her- and its true, i really don't... there simply hasn't been enough time to... and yet, im so hooked to the point where its stupid, and more so, fucks things up because i want too much too fast. But I can't hide these feelings i have. If I did, i'd only be fooling myself. Instead, I rush shit, and it ends up in a huge fight about something all of which could have been avoided if i had just sat back, and thought logically instead of emotionally. I thought girls were supposed to do this, not guys.

    I talked to bill a little bit tonight about this, and he said that it's ok to feel stuff... but you need to learn how to control the reaction of how you feel. How do you do this and not make your self feel like a hipocrite for lying about it, or dig yourself into a deeper hole because its not truely what you mean? what do you do with pent up emotions? I'm the type who blows up when shit fills up. I can only hold so much in, and it will blow up- and when it does, its probably worse off than just letting them out as they come.

    I just wish things were easy... i wish the way i feel about her is the way she feels about me. and althewhile, i wish that i never met her so she wouldn't have to put up with my shit... but then, i think that if she didn't want to, she wouldn't... but she has, and really seems interested in trying to work things out, but i just need to stop being a fucktard. i treat her right and she couldn't be happier in that respect it seems, but some of the things i've said are just uncalled for or out of line, because they were spewed from emotions inside of me, and it has had her on the verge of tears a couple times, and the fuck you *click* has happened twice already. I don't think im going to have another chance to fuck up.

    there is no point to this thread. i just needed to get some of this stuff out.

    :cliffs:
    if you want cliffs, you probably have no idea what its like. kindly skip this thread.
     
  2. pissedoffsol

    pissedoffsol RETIRED

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    maybe Ji is right...

    maybe it's time to just sell everything i own, pack up what i want to take, and just move somewhere and start over. a whole new life... :unsure:

    but how does moving anywhere change who i am and what i do? i'm only going to be running away from something that will follow me where ever i go
     
  3. Airjockie

    Airjockie Watanabe Whore!!!

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    Things like this happen...it's human nature. I can say I have been there, done that many times, and life still goes on. You are going to hear the same shit about this.......All you need is time. Time will tell you many thing's.....With Time...you will find the right girl for you....With time..you can change the girl you met to be what you wanted....Time will help mend those emotional wounds....Time can....well, it takes a lot of time!!!... I have had many GF's, and one Ex already....then about 7 years ago...I met the right one...and she is still by my side....after all this time......Timing plays an important factor on relationships....just like an engine.....if the timing is off, it will run like crap. Your still only a young whippersnapper...so don't tell me you have giving it enough time.....tell me in two or three more years. Don't let this one relationship discourage you....it will take time.

    Are the fights that you have already, are they about stupid shit? Sometimes in a new relationship...those small fights are to find out where they stand, what they need to change, or sometimes you do it becouse you want to see how she is going to be in the future, after she has half of you pension, house, and worldly possessions.....hehe... Sometimes I start fights with the old ball and chain...just for the hell of it...boredom can cause a lot of fights. And after the fight...when you make up...you feel closer...and more stable....unless it is a fight about them or you cheating on them...then consider it over. Move on to the next girl....

    Cheer up, hold your head up high...and see if she feels the same for you that you feel for her...if she does...then continue the relationship...if not....MOVE ON!!

    There are over 215,483 single women in CT...you have only met one or too...

    Don't tie yourself to the chain that easy...unless she is really worth it in your mind.


    Just Take Your TIME.....
     
  4. Seany-izzle

    Seany-izzle New Member

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    dont feel like you are the only one that feels this way. to be completely honest, i have a friend who gets TOO attached in like 3 days. All that i keep telling him is "play it cool, you can be mentally attached but dont get physically attached" it werked for him.

    Im sorry man, ive just have had shit fucked up with me tonight bout girls. girls are the root of evil (i bet you seen that pic)

    you arent the only one out there with this "problem". but hey, there is a girl out there for everyguy. you just have to take chances and shit and let what happens happen. im sorry if this doesnt help. BUt i had a point in my life (even tho im only 19) like this too. just try and look past it, dont think about it.

    Im sure you will find someone who will be happy with you or love you for who you are. dont worry man, im here for ya.
     
  5. djyox

    djyox Senior Member

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    B, don't let it get to you...I understand where your coming from...But I think your standards are up higher than a lot of people on here, and thats why your not swimming in the poonanny. Maybe you should just nab up an ugly girl, make her feel like she is the queen above queens, and just see what happens from there. One thing that was hard for me to get over is worrying about what my friends would think of her....and so I was always looking for a girl that would impress my friends, And lets face it, we all would love to have a girl, well actualy anything that people just want to have but they can't have it only you can...its a great feeling...but just remember there are many fish in sea, and there is no one that is better than the other...well thats a lie. there are those really fat girls that model for those joke calanders, but they are just gross....But what one girl lacks, another has, the only hard part is finding a girl that meets your standerds....I look for 3 basic things in a girl face/body/personalty....they have to have at least 2 out of those two for me to date them, and if its going to be long term, they got to have personality....If you really want a girl, just grab your balls, head to the bar and use the 1/10 rule. Ask 10 girls to sleep with you, and at least one will say yes.....I dunno...if you want B, I got a few web address's you can go to....

    Here
    Here too!
    Here is a Good one you can customize! :blink: :ph34r:
     
  6. Slo86GT

    Slo86GT Super Moderator

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    Ohhh. B, B, B. What the HELL did you say that got the "Fuck you" Click, response.... TWICE, no less?! I haven't gotten that but once in the two years I've been with H, and that was just when I told her to quit smoking or we shouldn't be seeing each other, wasting each other's time in the first place. :blink:

    Anyway, B. You have to take it easy. I'll bet you told her that you loved her already, didn't you! That was WAYYY too rushed. I think I gave Heather a 2 week notice... And we had already been sleeping together since almost day 1.

    If you want to talk about it, let me know. PM me. We work the same schedule, so that might convenience you a little better than most of these guys.
     
  7. pissedoffsol

    pissedoffsol RETIRED

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    first time, i don't remeber what it was.
    2nd time, i "judged" one of her friends in what he did

    i didn't drop the L-bomb.
     
  8. Slo86GT

    Slo86GT Super Moderator

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    LOL. I've done the "Well, that was f'ing retarded" when H told me about something one of her friends did... Usually she was telling the story to evoke that kind of descriptive, though... I don't know the situation that you were in, so I don't know if she overreacted, or you were being an asshole. :p

    Anyway, hold off on the L bomb for some time! It's one of the most special parts of a new relationship, not something to be taken lightly!

    If this relationship folds, B, it wasn't meant to be. Don't try to force it along... It's like pushing a rope. It just doesn't work.
     
  9. MXDesa

    MXDesa Senior Member

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    Well B, personally i dont know you, but you seem like a respectable guy. Im sure eventually someone will see that in you. It seems to me like you have a problem that a lot of guys have. Which is not being able to communicate. I've had that problem for the longest but im trying my best to fix it now. New relationships are fragile, but if its meant to work out it will, and if you really want it, go for it. Instead of trying to keep everything bottled up when shit annoys you, or when things happen, let it out!! But the trick to the whole situation is letting it out in a calm way in which she will understand you, but also where she wont get offended. Trust me there is a way to say it to do both things at once, that is what you have to learn. Im not saying it will fix all your relationship problems, but communication is the cornerstone in a solid relationship. Learn to talk to her, get comfortable with it, and things will go far. If this relationship doens't work out, you are a young man, and you will have time for more. NEVER let your hopes down too far as what im already hearing you say, NO woman is worth your sadness. QUOTE - "No woman is worth your tears, and the one that is, wont make you cry." (I know thats supposed to be the other way around but u get my drift) So hold on tight B and things will work out for you. :)
     
  10. pissedoffsol

    pissedoffsol RETIRED

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    i feel like office space.... i need a jump-to-conclusions mat
     
  11. Bob Vila

    Bob Vila ɐןıʌ qoq Admin VIP

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    my response will be in the private forum.

    Gimme 10 minutes ;)
     
  12. SLA

    SLA Senior Member

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    I understand what you are going through. I've been through this situation twice! Where I have been with a girl for a month or so, fall attach to her and fuck it up somehow! It would fuck me all up! I didn't know if it was something I said or something I did! Then I wouldn't talk or be with a girl for a year and a half! This happened twice in a roll!

    The most important thing that I learn out of that was to be yourself! Let the girls come to you! If you have great respect for yourself, and you are fun to be with, the girls will see that and it become attracted to you. Cetain girls have certain standards though....and that's a whole other subject I wish not to get into! :lol:

    The reason why the girl left you was because she sensed your attachement. It probably came from both (something you said and did). I do not know what age group you are in but a lot of girls hate feeling of being "tied up", expecially in the early stage. It scares them. The best thing to do in this situation is to be the girls friend but yet still have that connection of attraction. Let her do her own thing and you do your own thing.

    Another important thing to keep in mind when dating a girl is to hold off on the sex! I know you are going to hate me for that comment, but the longer you hold off from sex the longer your relationship will last. This way the girl and you will always have something to look forward to! I do not mean you can not do the other stuff; just hold off on the sex part!

    There is a reason behind everything that happens to you. Life is one big lesson. Take what has happen to you recently and build from it. What I mean is, do not fall attach with a girl unless you know that she is the one or could possible be the one.

    There is a plan out there for you, and if you truley want to marry someone in the futrue, it will happen!

    Remeber: As long as you know what you want to to in life....act upon it! The other stuff will come along!
     
  13. pissedoffsol

    pissedoffsol RETIRED

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    im 23.
    shes 21

    i haven't lost her.... yet.... shits just a disaster

    we haven't had sex yet.
     
  14. Bob Vila

    Bob Vila ɐןıʌ qoq Admin VIP

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  15. Bns773

    Bns773 Member

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    Look I know I don't know you that well but this happens to alot of guys. When I was alot younger I was the same way. I went through a ton of girls and got hooked on tons of them before I found the right one (That happend to be my best friends girl) Now I know that everyone has already said the the some ol thing about time and stuff but it's true.
    I don't know how old you are but, my old ass (28) has seen my fair share of cool chicks and crazy ones. Keep doing the things that make you happy and enjoy life everything else will fall into place. My parents use to tell me this crap all the time. I never belived them but it's true. You sound like a good guy and I know taking advise from a stranger is well...weird but you'll be fine. If it is meant to be it will work out if isn't cheer up there is another one out there.
     
  16. SLA

    SLA Senior Member

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    Sounds to me like the both of you feel the same way (she would of left you if she did not)! You both do not know exactly what you want! She wants to go out and have fun, you want to go out and have fun....it just sound like a mess waiting to happen!

    My advice to you would to talk to here about this! Telling her how you feel. Do not lie to her! I think the best thing for both of you is to just stay freinds for now and build from that.

    Of course this is easier said then done! Good luck man!
     
  17. quicksi

    quicksi Senior Member

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    Listen, I am going to be honest with you about something:

    YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!! alot of people get attached, but like some others have said, and you prolly don't want to hear it, your standards are just a bit too high. You are EXACTLY like my friend Dave, almost a clone. He is looking for a specific girl. he is looking for that perfect 10, the face, the body, they eyes, the personality, the job, the family, the goals. He is looking for all these things in a girl, and yet, he is 31, and has been single for 6 years now and he still hasn't been out on a date. Now don't get me wrong, Dave is a decent looking guy, but he shoots himself in the foot before he even has a chance. She might have all those qualities but one, and he wants nothing to do with her. To be honest, its pretty sad....

    The first step to vercoming the problem you have wiuth getting attached is recognizing the fact that you DO get attached and quickly. The next step is trying to help yourself to remedy the problem. One thing you have to understand is that everyone gets attached at one point, but not everyone gets attached as quickly as you do. So how do we cope with this? trust. How can you trust someone so quickly? You can't, you have to trust yourself not to put to much pressure on her to care for you as quickly as you care for her. How do you do that? Will power.....You have to have will power to TRY and give her enough space to grow to like you and care for you in that way. ith some people, like yourself, it takes a couple of days, with others, it cvan take years.

    Best advice I can give you, is to TRY an lower your standards a bit and take out some girls you wouldn't normally consider. Not ugly girls, but cute girls that you think you wouldn't have anything in common with. Take them out and you would be surprised at how interesting people can be. Don't go into dating LOOKING for relationships becuase those tend to fail VERY quickly.....Have fun dating and seeing different people. Just becuase they don't live upo to your self imposed standards dfoesn't mean you can't go out on dates and have fun. If you do that, I bet you won't fall asd hard as you did with this one, and you will prolly make not only a few freiwnds, but might also be pleasently surprised at how stubborn you were before....
     
  18. jamesA

    jamesA Well known pissed off telephone guy VIP

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    Yes B, I sometimes get the feeling there's no one there for me. It sucks but I don't think it's true.
     
  19. CRX-YEM

    CRX-YEM Super Moderator Moderator VIP

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    Picking up and moving won't solve anything. you're just running away from a problem and never resolving it and you'll most likely end up regreating your decisions.

    and the having sex thing, man my wife and I got down and dirty within the first 2 months we knew each other and that was 8 years ago. So having sex doesn't dictate how long things will last.

    As far as you smoking again, think of the pictures I posted every time you light up, the more you smoke the more your lungs look as nasty as that picture, and think damn these nasty ass things are inside me.

    The rest is in a PM to B. , I think he has the right to have a private life and not have to discuss it here.


    Wish I could read the private forum. :angel:
     
  20. Tonyd0821

    Tonyd0821 Banned

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    /hello, hello, hello
    is there any-body ouuut there?
    just nod if you can hear me....
    Is there anyone at home? :lol:
     
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