ever get the feeling that

[JDMilan]

I have that feeling now, I spent the past four years of my life with one chick for the entire undergraduate years of college, and before that it was another girl for two years. Both I was engage to "why, don't ask" the first one cheated on me, the second one things just crumbled to shit at year 3-4.

Well I feel that you have to taste the sour to appreciate the sweet. You will eventually find your companion, maybe your looking in the wrong places and maybe your just not supposed to look right now.

Me perosonally, I have decided to stop trying to date/go out with/whatever with chicks for the next year or so. Why you might ask, well, after 6 years of pure shit and the final outcome being literally nothing, I have decided to give myself time and be selfish for a year or so. I like not calling someone up at night, I like not being forced to go out to dinner twice a week draining my cash, I like not arguing, I like not being literally attached to the other person but it also has it's negative side like everything does.

All I am saying, is take a step back, look--analyize your situation, and make adjustments. Take it day by day, getting upset and arguing is a part of life, you will always have it.

good luck B,

milan

 

[94RedSiGal]

Originally posted by pissedoffsol@Sep 24 2003, 08:54 AM
im 23.
shes 21

i haven't lost her.... yet.... shits just a disaster

we haven't had sex yet.

I think that you are just being too hard on yourself. Plus both of you are still young and are both inexperienced about relationships.

Like many others have said, curb your initial enthusiasm with the new girls that you date. I think that it's admirable that you are so picky, so of course it's natural that when you finally date someone, you feel ready to get serious so soon. Try to relax and see if you two "click" naturally. It takes a while to really get to know anyone.

And keep up with quitting cigarette smoking, but keep it very separate from this relationship. My last bf kept quitting for me, and it pissed me off that he would say that he was doing it for me. Like I had to be extra nice and supportive all of the time. You need to quit for yourself. I don't mind helping friends quit their evil habit, but I don't want it to be my fault if they mess up. It sounds weird, but again, from the way AA and NA programs work, major life changes work best when done not as a result of others nagging at you.

 

[94RedSiGal]

Originally posted by pissedoffsol@Sep 24 2003, 02:30 AM
i dunno... im just all down right now. got in a huge "fight" with the girl i'm seeing, and frankly, after all the shit that went down tonight, im suprised that she still wants to talk to me.

By the way, it's okay to fight with her. Just maybe a little soon. I think that studies have found that the first 3 years of any long term relationship, is considered the "honeymoon" period. Then reality crashes in, and hopefully the couple survives that. I've often joked with friends, that before they get married... if they haven't had a good fight, then deliberately pick one. Everyone fights differently. With my parents, my mom is very verbal and sometimes throws small objects. My dad just gets really quiet and black in the face. My dad is actually way scarier when he's mad. lol. And the aftermath techinique is important too. Will they apologize? Is there some compromise? Or do they expect the other person to come crawling back?

So maybe she over reacted to you criticizing her friend. After all, her choice of friends is a reflection of her taste and judgment... but hey, she'll defend you in the same way to others in the future. So it seems that she's a good loyal friend.

 

[Tonyd0821]

Originally posted by pissedoffsol@Sep 24 2003, 01:30 AM
now, don't get me wrong... i've had very few real relationships with girls... but i don't know. it just seems like no matter what i do, no matter how hard i try, no matter if i don't try at all, things just simply don't work. i end up fucking up by saying something, or doing something wrong. and i hate it.
it just feels like theres no one out there that could ever truely understand me for who i am, what i want to be, and what i have to give.

i dunno... im just all down right now. got in a huge "fight" with the girl i'm seeing, and frankly, after all the shit that went down tonight, im suprised that she still wants to talk to me.

I just had another cigarette.... i have a headache now, my stomach is all fucked up, and on top of it all, i just feel like a pile of dog shit.

i'm really beginning to truely think that i'm destined to be alone. the love i have to give just isn't wanted.... the love i want back just never comes in.
and i know what everyone is going to say... you just haven't met the right one yet... well, i don't believe in it anymore. i don't think there is such a thing as the right one.

i'm debating calling it off with her now so i don't hurt her or break her heart anymore than i already have. i don't want to do it, and i would love to see something come out of this.. but its been a week, and we've gotten into at least 4 pretty big arguements all because of shit i said or assumed.

i don't even know why im typing this... it isn't making me feel any better, and im probably only going to get flamed for posting my personal life on a message board... but at this point, i don't know what to do. i'm getting to the point where i kinda just want to withdrawl from soceity- go live in the middle of no where, and never see anyone ever again, and die the lonely man that I am right now. The empty void inside of me just can't seemed to be filled, and i'm tired of hurting people trying to look for it.

i find it almost amazing that i've made some pretty good friends on here. i talk to a lot of you on a regular basis, and i don't have a problem with it. But the second my emotions get involved in a relationship, i fuck up. and let me tell you, they come on too fucking fast. out of the 4 girls i seriously dated more than a couple days, i was thoroughly attached to them within about a week. This one, it took 3 days. wtf is wrong with me? i've known this girl for 3 days, and i'd gladly take a bullet for her. I should barely know her- and its true, i really don't... there simply hasn't been enough time to... and yet, im so hooked to the point where its stupid, and more so, fucks things up because i want too much too fast. But I can't hide these feelings i have. If I did, i'd only be fooling myself. Instead, I rush shit, and it ends up in a huge fight about something all of which could have been avoided if i had just sat back, and thought logically instead of emotionally. I thought girls were supposed to do this, not guys.

I talked to bill a little bit tonight about this, and he said that it's ok to feel stuff... but you need to learn how to control the reaction of how you feel. How do you do this and not make your self feel like a hipocrite for lying about it, or dig yourself into a deeper hole because its not truely what you mean? what do you do with pent up emotions? I'm the type who blows up when shit fills up. I can only hold so much in, and it will blow up- and when it does, its probably worse off than just letting them out as they come.

I just wish things were easy... i wish the way i feel about her is the way she feels about me. and althewhile, i wish that i never met her so she wouldn't have to put up with my shit... but then, i think that if she didn't want to, she wouldn't... but she has, and really seems interested in trying to work things out, but i just need to stop being a fucktard. i treat her right and she couldn't be happier in that respect it seems, but some of the things i've said are just uncalled for or out of line, because they were spewed from emotions inside of me, and it has had her on the verge of tears a couple times, and the fuck you *click* has happened twice already. I don't think im going to have another chance to fuck up.

there is no point to this thread. i just needed to get some of this stuff out.


if you want cliffs, you probably have no idea what its like. kindly skip this thread.

i've had very few real relationships with girls... i've had very few real relationships with girls...

Welcome to my life !!!

got in a huge "fight" with the girl i'm seeing,

Welcome to my current relationship. We have fought constantly for the past 6 months we have dated. It wont get any better for you, trust me. or if it does, there will still always be underlying feelings that can instantly flare up into another fight...

but its been a week, and we've gotten into at least 4 pretty big arguements all because of shit i said or assumed.

For the most part, men's "assumptions" are to what the females call "intuition"

Instead, I rush shit, and it ends up in a huge fight about something all of which could have been avoided if i had just sat back, and thought logically instead of emotionally.

Been there, done that.



ok. i think its been half-assed established that i am semi-qualified to give you advice on this situation you are going through.

The only advice i can give you that would do you any good in the long run is this.

You need more experience. If you are fighting this early into the relationship, she is not the one for you. Since you say that you dont date alot, you need every little bone thrown to you.

My advice is for you to stay with this chick. (my fingers smell like pussy....sorry i just got back from spending the night at my chicks house and am eating my breakfast and just put my hand up to my mouth to put my food in it as i am writing this)

stay with her, get the much needed experience you need. dont lead her on PER SE....but fuckit dude....who is #1 ? You are.

so take care of #1 ....

if she doesnt like it then she will leave. but up untill that point, you will gain invaluable insight into women and you will be able to use that experience later on down the road.

yes, i do realize that you may be "leading" the chick on, if you stay with her, even tho you realize that she is not the one for you....

but who is #1? You are.

gain that experience, so later down the road you will be able to get chicks right and left.

thats all it is dude. experience.

this is provided there is nothing majorly wrong with you...

eg: you got tourettes, you smell, you wear 80's era clothes out on your dates, you are in a religious fanaticul cult....shit like that.

if you are a normal guy (as normal as us guys can get) then give it some time and the right one will come along.

 

[brian11to1]

Hey b,
I feel like you do, but all the damn time. I always feel like Im not good enough, no matter what I do or try it isnt right... I can't do anything right for anyone. SO dont move away, we need you here at Hondaswap.com... do you know how many of us would want to be you right now, a built GSR turbo at your parents house, a beautiful Del Sol in your drive way... and a massive amount of Honda knowledge I wish I knew half of what you know. My friends refer to me Mr. Honda, when they do this, I tell 'em to "check out hondaswap.com and talk to pissedoffsol... I dont know shit compared to him." Be real B', I love this site, it was brought to the ientire Honda community by one person, you and know he wants to get away from everything... I would be really upset, when you had problems with your car did you just give up? I dont know what else to say I always run to my best friend Pat (1994accordh22) when I'm having problems... he always keeps me on track... B' real B'... most of all, take shit one thing at a time, dont rush it with girls... although some tend to rush it with us... Im not one to say what women want or dont want, but rushing a relationship always (at least for me) ruins things... Case in point im single now... and dont know how to fend for myself in the single world

From a fellow friend
Brian K. Sanford

 

[2 litre EG]

aiight B the way i see things im the exact same as you... everything you described sounds like your a chronicler of my life or something... the fact is i havent had many relationships and it seems i get too attatched way too easily...

the longest relationship i've had was like 4 years but that was on and off... every other relationship has pretty much been me swingin off the girls tits like a squirrel swinging off my nuts.

ok when i think back of what i was feeling when i did somewhat the same thing you just did, i truly felt like shit, i was crying my eyes out and i just didnt really wanna talk to anyone i just wanted to sit and think about things for a lil bit.. i honestly also contimplated selling everyting packin up and starting off a-new. the fact is none of that will change who you really are. you are who you are and there aint much you can do to change that. i used to ask all of my closest female friends about what was going on in my head and what they thought of my situations. they would all tel me the same things that you've been getting told by everyone else, "you just havent met the right one yet." but im sorry that became a load of shit for me a long time ago. i did meet the right girl and she left me for her new photographer, hoe... anyways enough about me... the fact is B you need to just sit back and chill... dont sweat it, get your things done first such as your cars...

personally i decided to put girls on the back burner while im busy trying to get back into school and work on my cars, if i find a girl then damn good for me, but if not i dont care.

my friend ray has somewhat taught me alot of how to treat girls... it boggles my mind that when he takes his "lady friend" out she lets him roll her escalade around town, bumping his gangsta rap, flippin off other homies... and he still calls her a bitch and insults her on a regular basis... me personally im the lovey dovey type who will treat a girl like a princess but thats why i get run over all the time...

i dont know how you might wanna handle the situation but dont run away from the problem, let her know whats going on in your head and see what she thinks, if she thinks your movin too fast then at least its not emotion stuck inside...

hope this helps a lil B... stay up man

 

[sohcslammer]

Brian. All of this will stop when you move the fuck out. Having your own house to run instantly gets you poon. I swear dude, even though you are down in the dumps, even you can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Within a year you plan on having a turbo-charged GSR Sol and your own place. the biatches will flock. B) Seriously though, you are lonely, I can tell. That is why you latch on to girls so redily and "fall in love" imedietely. Just calm down and take a break. It will all come together, I promise. Your day can change in an instant Brian, just keep your chin up.

 

[sohcslammer]

 

[2 litre EG]

Originally posted by sohcslammer@Sep 24 2003, 09:14 AM

actually that makes sense... in some odd way in our twisted world that makes sense!!

 

[cxjon]

i also feel liek there is no one out there for me. you gotta keep tring, i have been hurt many times by girls, it just takes time

 

[khrisb]

B, you get too attached too fast. I do it too. Most other guys don't. Girls are stupid. They say they know what they want, but they really don't. That's why everyday is a Fak Bishes day! I just don't talk about my shit on HS.com. It's just not me. Don't let this shit get you down. Just do something to get your mind off of this. Go work on your car (for once... ) That worked when I was feeling shitty.
Just go out and get drunk. Works for me...
I don't really know you, so I don't know what to tell you. Just stick with it. If all else fails, turn gay.


You'll find the right one. You just have to wait.

Chris

 

[Bob Vila]

WOw, thats great advice.

Are you on your way of turning gay?

 

[Tonyd0821]

EVERY SINGLE PERSON WHO POSTED ON HERE, YOUR :tpp: HAND IS NOT STRONG.


j/k.

never knew there were so many dudes out there just like me, who get attached to a chick in a matter of days....i dont feel as bad/ashamed as i used to anymore.

thanks for the therapy y0 !!!!!!!!

 

[khrisb]

Originally posted by sisteve@Sep 24 2003, 02:33 PM
WOw, thats great advice.

Are you on your way of turning gay?

Not if I can help it. These dumbass girls might drive me there. I don't like guys, but if these girls keep their shit up...I'll become a monk. Yeah. A brown robe and a Hustler magazine. Shit that would be perfect. You don't have to talk to anyone, you get to live there for free.
Hmm...

 

[90 accord]

the way i see it, arguements are a way of "testing" each other. seeing what you can get away with, seeing how far you can push things, seeing what each other like and dislike.

relationships take a lot of work, but the satisfaction you put in will be ten times greater then what you put in.

i've been with kristie for over a year now, granted, thats not all that long, but i've learned that one of the most important things in a realationship is trust. i know how hard it can be to really do that. Lord knows i'm not the greatest looking guy, and i've always been really shy, especially around girls. I was so incredibly lucky to get kristie; and with her being a lot better looking then i had even thought i could have gotten in a girlfriend, i found it hard to trust her, just because i never thought i would be able to get a beautiful girl, especially one as beautiful as kristie is.

just give it time. the longer your together, the more you'll know her likes, dislikes, and so on. the fights become less abundant and less severe when they happen.

Make yourself happy, if you're not happy in the relationship, end it

 

[wildbillhatchbac]

got pics of kristie?

woodchuck to grey squirrel "thread jacked"

 

[dveit]

Originally posted by khrisb@Sep 24 2003, 03:28 PM
B, you get too attached too fast. I do it too. Most other guys don't. Girls are stupid. They say they know what they want, but they really don't. That's why everyday is a Fak Bishes day! I just don't talk about my shit on HS.com. It's just not me. Don't let this shit get you down. Just do something to get your mind off of this. Go work on your car (for once... ) That worked when I was feeling shitty.
Just go out and get drunk. Works for me...
I don't really know you, so I don't know what to tell you. Just stick with it. If all else fails, turn gay.


You'll find the right one. You just have to wait.

Chris

umm no.

getting drunk + depressed = not a good combo.

 

[jamesA]

Originally posted by 2 litre EG+Sep 24 2003, 06:14 PM-->

sohcslammer

@Sep 24 2003, 09:14 AM

actually that makes sense... in some odd way in our twisted world that makes sense!!

I love that pic...it's so freakin' true.

 

[90 accord]

here's a descent one, a little old though.. and yes, that is in my room. that flag was flown over the capital of the US in celebration of me reaching Eagle scout..

here's us at my little brothers art show *middle, obviously* little more rescent

last one is her with her cousin, yes, she is wearing the white..

 

[khrisb]

Originally posted by dveit@Sep 24 2003, 10:11 PM
umm no.

getting drunk + depressed = not a good combo.

I don't mean sit at home by yourself and get drunk. Go out! Tear da klub up!!!
Dance with random ho's! Buy over-priced drinks with silly names!

Have fun!