Just tested positive.....

We may earn a small commission from affiliate links and paid advertisements. Terms

D16Civic

Matt
VIP
for poppy seeds.

Had to go take a drug test today for work, went back to the office and the hr lady came in and informed me that I would be suspended, with pay, until the investigation was completed by their "medical compliance officer".

My initial thought was "wtf is going on here?". She started inquiring about any prescriptions I may take (none) any surgery I've had in the last few days (nope). No, no, no. I take a motrin (otc version) every now and again if I wake up with a sore back, but that's it.

Came home and did some research into 5 panel drug screens, it's basically a test for cocaine, opiates, pcp, benzo's, and weed. And I take none of the above, and it dawns on me that every morning for breakfast, religiously, I eat an everything bagel.

Get on the internets, because I've heard this can happen, (honestly thought it was bullshit) and it turns out to be fairly prevalent. It's the only plausible explanation.

So now I'm getting paid the next 4 days to stay home and dick around while they do their thing.
 
Bagels are a gateway food. Sure it's just an everything bagel in the mornings now... A little later it's half a loaf of bread every afternoon. Next thing you know you're in an alley behind the Wonderbread factory punching hookers just for a taste of flour.

Carbs kill, man.
 
Last edited:
Congrats. PTO because of bureaucracy. Got to love it. I'm jealous, haha.

H is actually such a problem in my area that do nothing jobs could care less if you pop for weed on the screening test.
 
And this whole time I thought I just liked the bagels.

It never dawned on me that I NEEDED them.
 
Last edited:
Make sure the Hr lady knows that.... it may be a few days off paid right now, but it may end up with you jobless.

shouldn't eat all them carbs any way!
 
Yeah I called her and let her know. I have plenty of bagel consumption witnesses as well. Or maybe witnesses to me "using" as it were. lol. It's really out of her hands at this point. The "corporate guy" looks at the results, determines if further questioning, etc is necessary, and forwards everything to her.

As much as I know I've done nothing wrong, the whole situation makes me nervous just because it's out of my control. All I can do is sit around and wait for the phone to ring.

The whole thing is completely ridiculous.
 
Bagels are a gateway food. Sure it's just an everything bagel in the mornings now... A little later it's half a loaf of bread every afternoon. Next thing you know you're in an alley behind the Wonderbread factory punching hookers just for a taste of flour.

Carbs kill, man.

LMAO
 
i get random tests from the state for my cdl and every time i go in they ask if Ive eaten anything with pope seeds that morning. sounds like the tester needs to be a little more diligent about there tests to prevent things like this
 
Did you drink a lot of water before the test? Sometimes they will flag you for dilution. It does not mean that they found any drugs, it just means that when they tested your pee it was low on a particular substance they are looking for. I cant remember what it is that they measure, but if it is too low, they will perform more in depth tests to verify.
 
I drank my usual 4ish cups of coffee in the morning, and a vitamin water with my sandwich about an hour or so before I went to the test. I'm a creature of habit, I have a routine every day and don't vary from it a whole lot. Same coffee, same bagel, same sandwich with the same mustard lol. As far as the clinic goes, it's just your typical meat market type of facility. No questions were asked at all other than "do you have anything in your pockets"?
 
The first time I heard of this was from a Seinfeld episode. Hopefully no punitive action comes from this. If it does request a second test or contact a labor board in your area. If you have old receipts from purchasing the bagels or credit card slips if it was a coffee shop may help your case as proof.
 
I'm curious to see what comes of this...I, too, had only heard of this from the Seinfeld episode - never knew if it was real or not.
 
I know this is not the absolute final word on anything
but they were able to get false positives for opiate use with poppy seeds on mythbusters

 
Not only do the tests, test for the opiates but they also test for masking agents. Because you failed the test does not mean that you necessarily tested positive - it could mean that you tested non negative. Many companies do not have an extremely expensive or thorough initial drug test, they just screen for all non negatives and then send them for additional testing (which is more expensive and comprehensive) or hope to not even have to send the employee for additional testing by getting them to essentially either admit to the use or just go away all together.
 
Just to let you know nyquil will do the same. I got tested for school athletics in college when i had taken nyquil the night before and tested positive for Heroin, Opiates, Morphine, Meth and Ecstasy. That was the funniest call i ever got. ended up getting suspended for a week until they could verify it was nyquil.

I mean common if i was really on all those do you think i would have showed up to the test?
 
Back
Top