Long time no see guys... I'm posting here since I'm pretty sure I don't personally know anyone. So I'm having some trouble out of life right now, and I've been having some thoughts negative enough to make me feel like I should be talking to someone about it. Only issue is that I don't have many close friends that I trust enough to open myself up to. I was in a relationship for a couple years with a woman, and she had 3 kids. Going into it, it was no secret that I didn't want kids, but our relationship & connection grew so strong that I decided it was worth it and met the kids, and eventually moved in with them. That lasted around a year, was great for the most part, but in the end I decided it wasn't what I wanted. We've been apart for about 8 months now. Time away from her made me realize that she was the one for me, but I don't know how I could have made it work with the kids. Hearing that she recently got engaged has really awoken jealousy in me, and also made me miss her even more. I now feel completely lost in life and feel like I've had and missed the reason I was put on this Earth, to love her. I've had one "relationship" since with a girl I've known all my life, but as soon as the girl decided she wanted us to be official, a couple days later she said she was tired of looking at me wishing I was her ex. I've had thoughts of ending it all, thinking about how I'd do it, and it really scares me. I never thought my life would go this direction, but it has and I don't know what to do. I understand that its selfish and sounds rediculous to most, but I don't feel as though I have a purpose now. Any intelligent advice is appreciated.