Some may have read this already, but if not it is funny!
Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you
could have an
order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half-dozen
nuggets. "We
don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the
counter. "You
don't?" I replied. "We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the
reply "So I
can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?" "That's
right."
So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.
I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart
<http://www.walmart.com/> with just a few items and the lady
behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up
one of those
"dividers" that they keep by the cash register and placed it
between our
things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned
all of my
items, she picked up the "divider", looking it all over for the
bar code so
she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me, "Do
you know how
much this is?" I said to her "I've changed my mind, I don't
think I'll buy
that today." She said "OK," and I paid her for the things and
left.
She had no clue to what had just happened.
A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy
drive and
pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to
what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet
and they kept
asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM
"thingy."
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car.
"Do you need
some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have replaced
the battery
to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do
you think they
(pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery
to fit this?"
"Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked. "No, just
this remote
thingy," she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I
took the key
and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you drive
over there
and check about the batteries. It's a long walk."
Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One
day she was
typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of
typing paper.
What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the secretary
told her. With
that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper,
put it on the
photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.
I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home
was towed
into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of
repair and the
whole thing generally looked like an extra in "Twister." I asked
the manager
what had happened. He told me that the driver had set the
"cruise control"
and then went in the back to make a sandwich.
My neighbor works in the operations department in the central
office of a
large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have
problems with
their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of
the branch
banks who had this question: "I've got smoke coming from the
back of my
terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"
Police in Radnor, PA interrogated a suspect by placing a metal
colander on
his head and connecting it with wires to a
photocopy machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the
copier, and
police pressed the copy button each time they thought the
suspect wasn't
telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the
suspect
confessed
A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she
needs to take
her kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating ants. The
dispatcher
tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and it should be fine .
The mother
says, I just gave him some ant killer.....
Dispatcher: Rush him in to the emergency room!
Life is tough . It's tougher if you're stupid
Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you
could have an
order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half-dozen
nuggets. "We
don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the
counter. "You
don't?" I replied. "We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the
reply "So I
can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?" "That's
right."
So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.
I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart
<http://www.walmart.com/> with just a few items and the lady
behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up
one of those
"dividers" that they keep by the cash register and placed it
between our
things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned
all of my
items, she picked up the "divider", looking it all over for the
bar code so
she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me, "Do
you know how
much this is?" I said to her "I've changed my mind, I don't
think I'll buy
that today." She said "OK," and I paid her for the things and
left.
She had no clue to what had just happened.
A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy
drive and
pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to
what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet
and they kept
asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM
"thingy."
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car.
"Do you need
some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have replaced
the battery
to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do
you think they
(pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery
to fit this?"
"Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked. "No, just
this remote
thingy," she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I
took the key
and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you drive
over there
and check about the batteries. It's a long walk."
Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One
day she was
typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of
typing paper.
What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the secretary
told her. With
that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper,
put it on the
photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.
I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home
was towed
into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of
repair and the
whole thing generally looked like an extra in "Twister." I asked
the manager
what had happened. He told me that the driver had set the
"cruise control"
and then went in the back to make a sandwich.
My neighbor works in the operations department in the central
office of a
large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have
problems with
their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of
the branch
banks who had this question: "I've got smoke coming from the
back of my
terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"
Police in Radnor, PA interrogated a suspect by placing a metal
colander on
his head and connecting it with wires to a
photocopy machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the
copier, and
police pressed the copy button each time they thought the
suspect wasn't
telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the
suspect
confessed
A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she
needs to take
her kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating ants. The
dispatcher
tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and it should be fine .
The mother
says, I just gave him some ant killer.....
Dispatcher: Rush him in to the emergency room!
Life is tough . It's tougher if you're stupid
Here's your sign....
