Life is hard for me right now

[Celerity]

I'm pretty happy so far with moderation. I smoke 2 packs a week now, and have been for months now. I drink a beer every 2 months, if I average it out. I habitually have a coffee every now and then.

It's great. I've killed myself trying to quit these things, and some day something will just snap in my head and I'll drop a habit or pick a new one up. I have an addictive personality, and can only supplant one addiction for another (You can't smoke while riding a bike)

 

[formby]

i've made it this far with out a drop of beer and i havent thought about smoking since friday. i spent all day with my son yesterday and today with my wife and son. i feel great, the only draw back [if you can call it that] is that i have a hard time falling asleep and i have a slight head ache since monday.

all in all i feel great and i hope that i can continue with my dry spell.

later

 

[Briansol]

the headaches will go away soon enough.... and if you can't sleep, go for a run.

 

[formby]

what do you mean?

get out of bed and run around the house

get out of bed and run around the block

run before i go to sleep

 

[|Chaz|]

I think B means get out of bed and go for like a few mile run. Or you could also try running a few miles before bed, that way you're tired. But I'm quite sure he doesn't mean get out of bed and run around the house.

 

[SlushboxTeggy]

i've made it this far with out a drop of beer and i havent thought about smoking since friday. i spent all day with my son yesterday and today with my wife and son. i feel great, the only draw back [if you can call it that] is that i have a hard time falling asleep and i have a slight head ache since monday.

all in all i feel great and i hope that i can continue with my dry spell.

later

I can tell you from personal experience that alcohol is not the answer. After I lost the friend in my sig I started drinking a lot more than I already did. What happened? A few months later I don't have a job or gf either. Kept drinking. What happened? I spent time in the hospital, but my ulcers were mis-diagnosed. Kept drinking. Few month later, after not being able to eat or drink for a week and throwing up everything (including stomach acid) my best friend down at school had had enough and carried me (I was too weak to walk) to the car and the hospital. Didn't drink for about 5 months and had a cold one on my birthday in January. Since then I have learned what moderation is. I have gotten "too drunk" less than 5 times. But now I have medication to take all the time and still get stomach pain once in awhile. Learn from me hitting the brick wall, don't hit it yourself.

I have also stopped with drugs all together. Like B said, weed is for college. My other vice was opiates. Luckily pain killers will destroy my stomach, so I was forced to stop because I wasn't at a point that I was going to start snorting them.

I drink maybe once or twice a week now. You will start feeling better physically and mentally in your everyday life. Your mood just elevates because your not hung over all the time. I didn't even notice I was hung over all the time because it felt normal to me. When I finally wasn't I just felt amazing. But don't do it for anyone but yourself and your family.

 

[Black Widow g2]

You want some overly cliche advice? It worked for my boyfriend who smoked ounces of weed a week and drank like a fish. Rehab. He comes from a more privileged lifestyle but a really disgusting place like the one he went to made him realize what drugs and alcohol get for him. Nothing but misery and a hole in the wall room. Sure it was hard, but now he realizes what is important to him. Me, his coming child, and his future. I was impressed that he quit the herb... I never thought he would, actually. I'm proud of him, his family is too... and I think he realizes what his priorities are. Your father isn't helping, but I know how it feels to not have the support of ones close to you. What does matter is that the people who are truly closest to you (your wife/son) are there to support you. Your dad can go fly a kite, cuz your mind is in the right place now.

You are lucky enough to be able to see into your son's eyes. When you see the love he has for you, isn't that worth NOT being high or drunk? Learn how to control the cravings, which isn't easy. I won't get into all that, but, I think you see what I mean by all this.

I wish you the best with this, and if you need (or want) to talk, feel free to e-mail me or PM.

 

[Celerity]

my boyfriend who smoked ounces of weed a week and drank like a fish.

Further evidence of the Greater Celerity Unification Theory of Chaos in dating.

 

[formby]

today is raining and dull and my throat wants a drink.

i'm sitting here looking out my office window swallowing my spit like its sand paper. in the back of my mind i have a little voice telling me. "man look at it out there doesnt it make you want a drink? a cold frosty beer; just one, its not like any one will care that you have one beer. man it will feel sooo good going down your parched throat."

but i have to resist, since i got back from Puerto Rico ive lost 8 pounds and one pant size. that was the bloating effects of beer.

also all i keep seeing are beer trucks up and down the street. its like a parade of beer. i guess its delivery day or something or maybe the know i'm watching.

ive been having these awful nightmares about a huge wave coming to get me and a war breaks out at the place that i am. when i wake up i take a sip of water and when i get back to sleep i'm at the same place. holding my baby so the soldiers wont get him or my wife. man what a night

my aunt said that the dreams are just a way for my mind to deal with the mental anguish ive been going through.

i can hardly watch TV its like all the commercials are wanting me to drink.

today has been a tough morning, i wonder if i have one light beer. ahhh!! no i wont, i cant, its been a good 9 days. they say after 15 days bad habits are broken. geez i want a brew, not a shot or a stiff drink a frosty carbonated beer ahh yes the drink of the gods. beer.

its funny i typed that because im an atheist.

ohh well lets see what happens

 

[dacheat]

i say replace beer with green tea. a lil caffeine pickmeup, healthier, and uh...well yeah. hehe

 

[totalburnout]

Listen, beer isn't that good. Simply put, even the best beer isn't as appetizing as other options, the only appeal that comes from beer are the effects of being drunk.

Being drunk when you have a family is especially childish.

If I can put my life in perspective and in order to achieve goals, set aside alcohol and other deterimental activities then there is no reason that you should not be able to either. Its all mental.

I went my spring semester, this past senior year, having drank twice while being in a college atmosphere. If you count up the times I was drunk my entire senior year, it was less than five times. I knew I had to act like a big boy and get myself in gear if I wanted to land a well paying job directly out of college.

The strong find ways to survive adversity and achieve goals, whereas the weak simply succumb to the pressures of life and rely on excuses to justfiy their failures. Don't be a failure, you have a family to provide for and love.

 

[totalburnout]

Also, for the record, its not "after 15 days bad habbits are broken." The rule is generally after the first 3 weeks (21 days) of a specific routine, new habbits are engrained into your life. This is why they tell you to maintain a habit for the first three weeks, because the likelihood of success in continuing the routine increases exponentially after those first 21days.

I believe this premise is characterized in 7 Habits of Highly Effective People (which you should read if you haven't, its one of the most beneficial help books out there and many successful people use this as a resource and guide) but I may have read it elsewhere.

 

[Luis998]

I am not going to repeat what everyone has already let you know or advised you, but will offer an ear anytime you need it. Since we are both locals (from what I remember you live in Orlando as well) I am always looking for someone to hang out with. I might be one of the most sober people you hang out with, which may help keep the cravings away. If you need me man I'm here for you. Heck, I wouldn't mind helping out at all. People tell me that I'm good at helping others out.

 

[formby]

Listen, beer isn't that good. Simply put, even the best beer isn't as appetizing as other options, the only appeal that comes from beer are the effects of being drunk.
i think beer taste great and i rather drink it than a mixed drink, now i'm not saying its single malt scotch but as an alcoholic it taste great. to each their own
Being drunk when you have a family is especially childish. this doesnt make much sense to me because i never got drunk while i took care of my son or high. its just that when i can drink i over do it

If I can put my life in perspective and in order to achieve goals, set aside alcohol and other deterimental activities then there is no reason that you should not be able to either. Its all mental. i agree, yesterday was a mostly mental thing and i over came it.

I went my spring semester, this past senior year, having drank twice while being in a college atmosphere. If you count up the times I was drunk my entire senior year, it was less than five times. I knew I had to act like a big boy and get myself in gear if I wanted to land a well paying job directly out of college. thats great!

The strong find ways to survive adversity and achieve goals, whereas the weak simply succumb to the pressures of life and rely on excuses to justfiy their failures. Don't be a failure, you have a family to provide for and love. very true

Also, for the record, its not "after 15 days bad habbits are broken." The rule is generally after the first 3 weeks (21 days) of a specific routine, new habbits are engrained into your life. This is why they tell you to maintain a habit for the first three weeks, because the likelihood of success in continuing the routine increases exponentially after those first 21days.

I believe this premise is characterized in 7 Habits of Highly Effective People (which you should read if you haven't, its one of the most beneficial help books out there and many successful people use this as a resource and guide) but I may have read it elsewhere. i will look into it, thank you

I am not going to repeat what everyone has already let you know or advised you, but will offer an ear anytime you need it. Since we are both locals (from what I remember you live in Orlando as well) I am always looking for someone to hang out with. I might be one of the most sober people you hang out with, which may help keep the cravings away. If you need me man I'm here for you. Heck, I wouldn't mind helping out at all. People tell me that I'm good at helping others out. thanks a lot i'll hit you up sometime PM me you telephone #

so yesterday during my lunch i ate chinese food and drank some sprite. while i was at the store the beer fridge was calling my name but i ignored it and walked right out. as soon as i took a sip from the soda, i did not want a drink any more.

i feel good about that; i never thought that i was so addicted to alcohol. i havent needed weed or thought about it as much as i thought i would. its like i never smoked. but the drink is really calling me all day. last night i watched a coors commercial and i almost went to the store to get a six pack, but i went to the freezer and ate a scoop of ice cream.

my wife told me that if i make it till friday with out a drink i should treat my self to one saturday night when we get back to the house from dinner. she tells me that its better to learn self control rather than just hide from it because its bigger than me. i agree

 

[dacheat]

i your wife. control is the key. if you are in control, you are not addicted. if you think you are in control, you aren't.

 

[formby]

she is the best, she is so understanding and loving. we have been through so much together. when i met her i knew i had something special.

 

[chestercheeto48]

Your wife is giving you the worst advice ever. As I see it the second you take that drink the clock resets. Ask any smoker that has quit for an extended time what the most detrimental thing they could do is. Thats right the answer is to have a smoke - 9 times out of ten that one smoke will lead to another and another and soon they are smoking again where they were not before. My advice which clearly is up to you to listen to or ignore is to not take that drink next saturday night. It's still too early.

 

[Celerity]

i your wife. control is the key. if you are in control, you are not addicted. if you think you are in control, you aren't.

Bone Chilling.

We're not in control of anything. As long as we maintain the illusion of being in control, we tend to be a little more in control of our addictions.

When I say "Addictions" I do mean the eastern philosophies on addiction, not on chemical addiction (which is on a slightly different plateau). We all have addictions. Beer is not addictive, by way of it having no chemically addictive properties - but still it's habit and consumption is known to be spiral out of hand. Same with smoking, pot or otherwise. While Coke has an immediately addictive chemical that quickly re-wires the brain for more addictive behavior.

Tread lightly on the advice that you all give, and the sentiment that you feed JP. Group philosophies, as what's being posted here, can EASILY enable someone to slip back into the addiction.

 

[dacheat]

hmm, i guess i should clarify:

i love formby's wife because she obviously loves him and doesn't want him to obsess about this necessary change in his life.

i believe that if you think you're in control, you most definitely are not. Iif you are in control, then there is no addiction.

think vs. are.

are = when there just is no more struggle, itch, urge. it's a take it or leave it 'meh' place; transcending the activity/need.

think = when you think you have your struggle, itch, or urge under control. this is when you actually have the least control.

his wife wanting him to be able to have an occasional, safe experience with alcohol in the comfort of their home seems alright to me -- the timing may not be right; maybe it is too soon -- but it does indicate that she's not a control nazi that wants to enforce radical change. she loves him and is doing everything she knows how to support him.

=

 

[get_nick]

going back to drugs/alcohol is like cheating on your wife. you can see a hot girl out there, but all you need to do is jerk off and you wont feel that desire anymore.

drugs and alcohol are the same. you want it, you shouldn't have it, so ease the temptation with some food/exercise/healthy drink...