i kind of have the same thing.
i know im like my father in certain ways, music mainly, but thats how his whole side of the family is, all musically talented.
my problem is, everytime im about to do something, i look back to see if my father had done it, if he had, its a struggle for me to follow through with it.
some of the things i know he did, and i know he failed at, i'll do it just to show myself that im a better person than he is.
big issue right now is this: im getting into music more and more. and a honda doesnt have near enough room to lug music equip around. I have been looking at vans lately, conversion vans mostly (bc if i do get something good started then i already have a vehicle that can fit the whole band in to get to shows and tow a small trailor) but, thats what my father has driven most of his life. he was a drummer, the vn could carry everything.
so when i think about getting one, i feel that im following in his steps, and it makes me nausious.
but back to the OP.
take it one step at a time, if there is one thing, one tiny little thing that makes you think that this chold isnt yours, then get a test done before you commit to a damn thing.
if she keeps telling you that she doesnt want you to be part of the childs life, record her saying it, or have her sign and notorize a paper saying it.
that way if it turns out to be yours, and she sues you for chold support or some bullshit, you have something solid to show the court that you wanted to be there, but she wouldnt allow you.
also, whether or not she wants you to be a part of the childs life, get a dna test.
that way you know if you have a child out there in the world somewhere.
that way you can keep track and take action if you decide that you dont want to be as big of a piece of shit as some of fathers are/were/will be.
fuck the girl carrying the child. she obviously isnt anything to you, the only thing she is is a roadblock to what could potentially a life changing adventure.
take all the legal precautions now. you have nine months to get her ordered to take a paternity test.