Have you ever...

[totalburnout]

you are so full of shit. Must be something in the New Jersey water.

Which part?

Unfortunately I accidentally left her name in one of the things and had to ninja edit it out. I really don't want this coming back to me and the shitstorm she would create.

 

[ThatGuy4life]

Girls have encouraged me to buy them, I guess its like a bragging right for them, but I'm very reluctant. I just don't trust them. I remember when we were younger, filling them with water and them blowing up the most easily.

Shit girls brag anyway. I'm always to say "I'm only average" when asked about size. a few times females I've been with heard me say this and where like well if you're not gonna toot your own horn I will for you

 

[jamesA]

used numbing condoms?

Girl that I used to f on a regular basis, conned me into a booty call last night.

After a couple BJ's and an hour or so of sex and her riding her brains out <which to me is somehow very humorous, watching a girl trying her hardest to make you finish and then tiring herself out> I can't finish during sex.


I get the text message this morning, "Oh, I know why you couldn't finish!" to which I immediately think - must have been the condoms - and I get the text message, "I accidentally bought numbing sensation <or whatever they're called> condoms".

Her boyfriend or ex-boyfriend or whatever the fuck he is, just shipped off to the marines but apparently it was either a mistake on her part buying them or he had a little premature problem. My condoms were all cold from being in my car, so I wound up using the ones she had.

Also, I kept thinking the condom broke because it was making the tip feel weird like it busted through the top of the condom.


Cliff notes;
Who has used these things and why?
Condoms should be called stinging sensations and "no cumming for you" sensations.
I'm going to start banging girls raw dog since I hate condoms.

My prediction:

Two months down the road there will be a thread titled "FUCK!!!" authored by totalburnout.

... and I will know EXACTLY what it's about.

 

[totalburnout]

Shit girls brag anyway. I'm always to say "I'm only average" when asked about size. a few times females I've been with heard me say this and where like well if you're not gonna toot your own horn I will for you

I usually go with the scary movie line, "I have a baby dick. Its like a disability. You wouldn't make fun of a guy in a wheelchair would you?" which usually cracks people up.

Its better to make girls think they're getting nothing, then be overly joyed when they see what you have.

 

[reckedracing]

ian ack 4 life (2:54:57 AM): like tonight is the kind of night that i would want to watch you ride the shit out of a bottle, and then suck my cock

lmfao
sick duck

 

[totalburnout]

lmfao
sick duck

You gotta plant the idea in their heads, first.

 

[reckedracing]

so you stuffed this bitches thong in her rhino cave?
and she stuffed her own underwear in her lunch box?

i would wrap it up too if i were you

 

[totalburnout]

so you stuffed this bitches thong in her rhino cave?
and she stuffed her own underwear in her lunch box?

i would wrap it up too if i were you

Yes.

 

[Seany-izzle]

i demand a copy of that video or else.




....but seriously, asap.

 

[Celerity]

rhino cave

you are welcome

 

[Airjockie]

Airjockie(4:40:20 PM): Hello?!?!?!
georgette731(4:41:10 PM): ???
Airjockie(4:42:15 PM): I"m an acquaintance of Ian...and I was wondering...spit or swallow?
georgette731(4:42:32 PM): Swallow all the way down....baby
Airjockie(4:43:26 PM): Choke and cum?
georgette731(4:44:16 PM): ???
Airjockie(4:45:56 PM): You know, like when your coming, do you ask Ian to choke your throat? It adds to the pleasure factor. My exwife always wanted me to do it to her...it made her squirt...
georgette731(4:47:32 PM): Who the fuck are you?
Airjockie(4:49:02 PM): Nobody of no concern, but I was wondering...is Ian as hung as he brags about?, does he satisfy you til your done?...and does he uhm...have a problem keeping it up?
georgette731(4:52:12 PM): He's wild, but if you don't post a picture of your abs and peter, then I'm blocking your ass. I need something to it compare him to, and where do you live?
Airjockie(4:54:45 PM): I'm prolly too old for you, I'm in my mid 30's....hey...I got to go...say hi to Ian for me.
georgette731(4:56:20 PM): Get back here you asshole...now you got me curious...location?
(end session) Airjockie(4:57:45 PM)





/JFWY

 

[totalburnout]

Play nice DUDE!

 

[Airjockie]

do you know how long it took me to type that out....

look at her name...

 

[reckedracing]

you are welcome

no problem giving credit where credit is due
i use that term all the time now

i've heard some stories from friends about fucking bitches with bottles, chair legs, bats and bed posts but i never really saw the thrill in it
you're one of those sick bastards that likes getting knobbed while she's on the shitter aren't you?

 

[totalburnout]

no problem giving credit where credit is due
i use that term all the time now

i've heard some stories from friends about fucking bitches with bottles, chair legs, bats and bed posts but i never really saw the thrill in it
you're one of those sick bastards that likes getting knobbed while she's on the shitter aren't you?

while she is on the shitter?

maybe when I am.


And Clayton, I picked up on it right away but the fact that you knew to edit means that you knew the original name. I was hoping no one had gotten that.

 

[Celerity]

And Clayton, I picked up on it right away but the fact that you knew to edit means that you knew the original name. I was hoping no friends of Celerity had gotten that.

Fixed that for ya.

 

[Airjockie]

As long as she's not asian...then don't worry.

 

[totalburnout]

As long as she's not asian...then don't worry.

greek.


idb, idp for her.

 

[Airjockie]

no thanks.... if your an idb or an idp'er kind a guy...then you better wrap it.

 

[ThatGuy4life]

I usually go with the scary movie line, "I have a baby dick. Its like a disability. You wouldn't make fun of a guy in a wheelchair would you?" which usually cracks people up.

Its better to make girls think they're getting nothing, then be overly joyed when they see what you have.

exactly why I say what I do