Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the forum,
The posters made avatars
With Christmas decorum.
They posted their questions,
"My car, it is broke!"
They posted with answers,
"Just pull out the choke!"
They posted their upgrades,
They posted their hacks.
They posted of wrenches,
Of welders and jacks.
The forum was perfect,
Was really first rate!
But little they knew,
A plot thickened with hate.
The servers were nestled
All snug in their farm,
When the security system
Set off an alarm.
The server room silence
Was suddenly shattered
By cracked window pieces
That flew 'round and scattered.
Then through the bare window,
A burglar appeared!
He snatched up the servers
And said as he sneered:
"This forum I hate it!
The people too cheery!
I'll steal their servers
And make their lives dreary!
Too long have they posted
Of Hondas and racing.
Their projects, their triumphs,
The parts they're replacing.
I'll make them all suffer!
I'll make them all cry!
For with out these servers,
Their info runs dry!"
Through the window he jumped,
Into the fresh snow.
Staggering slightly,
The servers in tow.
His footprints they made
A most beautiful pattern,
As he loaded the servers
Into his old Saturn.
He started his car,
But it sputtered and died.
And then on the fifth try,
He drove off and cried:
"No forum to go to,
I've shut down the hosts,
And stolen the servers!
Let's see them make posts!"
The boards real owner
Who wasn't too far,
Heard none of the mayhem,
While fixing his car.
He left the garage
To check on the computers
And said with a scream:
"I've been robbed by some looters!"
He ran to the back yard,
His blood at a boil,
When he spotted the footprints,
And puddles of oil.
"Look at these clues!"
He said with exclaim,
"The thief made these markings.
They're one in the same!
I simply must track him,
And make up the distance
'Tween me and this robber.
But I'll need assistance!"
Away to the phone
Tom (now RPR) flew,
To call all the posters,
And summon the crew:
"On Masta, On Rampage
On BrianGT!
On Nivek, on Kedwards,
On MrDisability!
On Buford, GTPilot,
On 1stGenRex!
On O-mega Mugen,
On HooptyDX!
On Ghost-One, on Bryman,
And on Aren D.!
On Kakabox, Doodson,
And on Badpenny!
To the top of the world,
With your foot to your floors!
Now drive away, drive away,
Drive off your doors!"
More rapid than rockets,
Their engines spun true.
Efficiently burning
As precision parts do.
In what seemed like moments,
They arrived at Tom's flat.
To hunt down the thief
Like a dirty old rat.
"Away! Here we go!
The boards must survive!"
They jumped in their cars
And they started to drive.
Though as they were leaving
To track the thief down,
A far away rumble
Was heard through the town.
The growling of engines
Were hot on their heels.
The howling and screeching
Of thirteen-inch wheels.
"I know cars approach
But there's no attribution!
I hear them so clear,
But I smell no pollution!"
When what to Tom's wondering
Eyes did appear,
But a long chain of Hondas,
Getting old in the years!
The CRX Civics,
Were lined up in hordes!
Integras and Preludes,
And even Accords!
Hundreds of board members
Entered the flight!
Willing to help Tom
With all that they might.
"I just can't believe it!"
Tom said as he cheered,
"You've all come to help!"
And he wiped up a tear.
"Onward board members!
We'll pick up our paces!
But let's take it easy,
No illegal street races!
Follow the tracks, people!
Follow the oil!
Follow that thief
Through the mud and the soil!"
They drove through the night,
On the oil-stained tracks.
They were making good time,
With the wind to their backs.
CBStdScott though,
Took corners too fast!
"Slow down!" RPR said,
"We've all been surpassed!
You'll never be able to brake
When time comes!"
Said Scott "But I've got
some aluminum drums!"
The caravan drove on,
The mood getting tense.
The night getting darker,
The oil tracks dense.
Old Parts on the side of the road
Then appeared.
"We're close!" RPR Said,
"We're getting quite near!"
But they needn't chase him,
He hadn't gone far.
For there was the thief
With his broken down car:
His underhood burning,
His motor exploded.
His tranny grenaded,
His pride all eroded.
The front of his car
Was stuck fast in the snow.
This immobile thief
Had no place he could go.
He jumped from the cabin
His car in a plight.
As hundreds of Hondas
Converged on the site.
Completely surrounded,
With nowhere to run,
The thief gave up quickly,
His stealing spree done.
"I give up!" He cried out.
"Please don't run me down!
What I really could use
Is a ride back to town!"
The members advanced
In a threatening way,
As the thief broke to tears,
And he started to say:
"I guess I was jealous!
My board's not so nice!
I asked them a question,
and I got banned twice!
I couldn't get help with
My car, as you see.
So now I am doomed,
To a certain degree."
The thief let a sigh.
The relief of a weight
Was released from his shoulders,
Accepting his fate.
They could have just dragged him
Straight down to the jail,
But RPR pitied him,
'Cause of his tale.
He looked towards the road
And then took in the sights.
The beams from the Hondas
Like grand Christmas lights.
Then RPR turned,
That jolly old mod,
He looked at the burglar
And gave him a nod.
The thief to the prison
He would not impart,
For the spirit of Christmas
Grew deep in his heart.
They loaded the servers
And gave him a ride.
The thief took it quickly,
He had no false pride.
"These Hondas are fast!"
The thief said with amaze.
"With the mileage you get,
You could drive on for days!
That's it!" He exclaimed,
"I can undo my sins!
I'll purchase a Honda,
And give you all grins!
I'll get you all something
To show I repent!
Some speedier servers,
Two-hundred percent!
The thief wrote a check
And was good to his oath.
His Honda and servers
He purchased them both!
The servers a gift
And the Honda his own.
The body was good
But the motor was blown.
"This Honda I have
I will fix up just right!
Although only if
I'm allowed on your site."
"Of course" RPR said,
"No Honda should stall.
For good information
Is free to us all.
Our knowledge of Hondas
Is something we share.
Their parts getting traded,
Their secrets laid bare.
So always remember
To give what you can.
A tidbit of knowledge,
A manual scan,
A gear or a gas cap,
Or even a guess.
Then Red Pepper Racing
Will be a success!"
And I heard Tom exclaim
As the servers went live:
"Merry Christmas to all,
And to all a good drive!"