Workplace shinanigans

[Canuck 93 Civic Si]

I figured if i had some pretty good stories, there must be a lot more out there. So heres where you can tell everyone all about them.

Ill go first

Today, i was given the task of removing a siezed trailer hitch from a dodge caravan. After much hammering, sweating and swearing, I decided it was time to get serious. I wrapped a chain around one of the columns between two of the garage doors and attached the other end to the hitch, hopped in the van and proceeded to try and drive away. I soon reached the end of the chain and the whole van stopped immediately, being very angry at this point, i floor the dam thing and start spinning the tires.

Picture this, an angry, dirty mechanic, sitting in a van that is chained to a wall, with his head stuck out the window, looking backward yelling "common you mutherfucker " with the tires smoking away as shocked customers shield thier childrens ears.

After filling the shop with smoke and getting no where, i gave up and went home. The van is still probobly chained to the wall right now.

 

[Loco Honkey]

If I ever caught someone doing that to my vehicle, I'd pull them out through the fucking wondow, and chain them between my van and the post.

What you did is fucking bullshit, if it's even true. You represent the lowest of the low as far as technicians are concerned. You aren't even a fucking mechanic! You're nothing more than a junk yard monkey. Next time some procedure confuses you, like an oil change, or a rusty nut, leave it for us ASE techs. Meatheads like you give us a bad name.

 

[Tonyd0821]

Originally posted by Canuck 93 Civic Si@Jul 14 2003, 10:20 PM
I figured if i had some pretty good stories, there must be a lot more out there. So heres where you can tell everyone all about them.

Ill go first

Today, i was given the task of removing a siezed trailer hitch from a dodge caravan. After much hammering, sweating and swearing, I decided it was time to get serious. I wrapped a chain around one of the columns between two of the garage doors and attached the other end to the hitch, hopped in the van and proceeded to try and drive away. I soon reached the end of the chain and the whole van stopped immediately, being very angry at this point, i floor the dam thing and start spinning the tires.

Picture this, an angry, dirty mechanic, sitting in a van that is chained to a wall, with his head stuck out the window, looking backward yelling "common you mutherfucker " with the tires smoking away as shocked customers shield thier childrens ears.

After filling the shop with smoke and getting no where, i gave up and went home. The van is still probobly chained to the wall right now.

<<edit>>

 

[yoshi]

wow you guys are kinda harsh i found his story rather amusing. i would love to be able to do crazy shit like that at work.

 

[mattcalica]

dude, that story was fucking hilarious....i myself am a "niggerig" mechanic, and i could so see someone doin that...thats some funny shit. if it works, then it works...my moto is this "if can can, if no can....can...." thats actually the UH football teams moto, but oh well.

 

[BodyDroppedNikes]

i just wanna choke the living shit outta this bitch at work every time i se her. she is THE biggest fucking brown noser i have ever met. she snitches on everyone, listens to other people conversations, tries anything and everything possible to not break AND gets away with it. her production sucks, shes slow as molasses when it comes to doing her fucking job and last not but no least shes a fucking dipshit. she has only been there 2 weeks longer than me and a few other people, she makes the same as i do....and gets away scott free with everything. GRRRRRR shes pisses me (and other co-workers off) so fucking bad!! die brown noser die!!

 

[BodyDroppedNikes]

oh as far as shanigans go...anyone ever drag raced forklifts before?? that shit is fun as hell

 

[Domeskilla]

Originally posted by yoshi@Jul 14 2003, 10:40 PM
wow you guys are kinda harsh i found his story rather amusing. i would love to be able to do crazy shit like that at work.

you think its harsh, what if that was YOUR car they did that to? Okay, now you see where ppl get bitchy at. Its not their car, but they respond like it was.

 

[yoshi]

never drag raced a fork lift but when i have to do a catering job at work i take the van on the strip when i get do and try to get people to race. its great no one ever expects a big yellow gmc dickey's van to challenge them to a race. to bad i haven't won any of the races

 

[Tonyd0821]

Originally posted by TrailorParkPimp@Jul 14 2003, 10:51 PM
oh as far as shanigans go...anyone ever drag raced forklifts before?? that shit is fun as hell

back when i was 18 and working (manager of a company of 3 employees including myself) for a distributor manufacturer in a warehouse....the boss left town and i was in charge. the only other employees were two mexican ladies who spoke not a word of english...i speak almost fluent spanish, but pretended not to understand what they said to me.

anyways i got my boy Ray who was the biggest partier there ever was a job there. the first day the boss left, we went across the street and got 4 40's of Old English, climbed up on the rafters of the warehouse and got shitfaced....

we climbed down and the mexican ladies starting talkin shit to us....

so we proceeded to get on the forklifts, then we went on opposite sides of the warehouse and turned and faced each other....we were faded as FUCK...

so we raised the forks of the forklifts to their highest point, 15 feet into the air, then on the count of 3, we floored it gunning for each other....

i had the slow but hefty caterpillar that was 2x the size of the (nissan?) forklift my buddy was driving...

his forklift was smaller but faster..

so we gun it, top speed, forks raised to their highest point.

the object of the game was to fuck up the other person's forklift...

big ass chicken match, without the "chicken" part.

anyways so we are gunning it, and next thing you know our forks touch and we just collide with each other at about 15 miles an hour

BOOM we both got sent back about 10 feet, and went at it again....

finally i was able to muscle out his forklift with the heavy ass weigh of mine.


then after the mexican ladies were screaming at the top of their lungs we retired to the back yard to smoke a nice fat joint.

 

[Havok]

I bet my friend I could get back (across the street, and about a 1/4 mile back down) to the main hotel in a golf cart with my eyes closed--about 15 seconds later, I ran strait into some srubs and thorns and a tree, totally fuxored the front of the golf cart--good thing it's rwd, and none of the drivetrain got messed up. I also came about 5 inches from "accidently"running over a lady in a Ford E-350. I was going to run her over, I just scared the shit out of her because she made me her personal assistant and gave me no money.

 

[Capt. Orygun]

Originally posted by Canuck 93 Civic Si@Jul 14 2003, 10:20 PM
I figured if i had some pretty good stories, there must be a lot more out there. So heres where you can tell everyone all about them.

Ill go first

Today, i was given the task of removing a siezed trailer hitch from a dodge caravan. After much hammering, sweating and swearing, I decided it was time to get serious. I wrapped a chain around one of the columns between two of the garage doors and attached the other end to the hitch, hopped in the van and proceeded to try and drive away. I soon reached the end of the chain and the whole van stopped immediately, being very angry at this point, i floor the dam thing and start spinning the tires.

Picture this, an angry, dirty mechanic, sitting in a van that is chained to a wall, with his head stuck out the window, looking backward yelling "common you mutherfucker " with the tires smoking away as shocked customers shield thier childrens ears.

After filling the shop with smoke and getting no where, i gave up and went home. The van is still probobly chained to the wall right now.

:bo:

Mine wasn't even me,

It was my first Christmas away from my family (not counting bootcamp) in England and they were missing me, they sent cookies. C.Chip, PB, and Pecan. I took the Pecans to work to share with my friends. Enter the british supply girl, nice birb l8 20's. We offer her a cookie (as for some reason they always took there breaks in our shop, guess cause were awsome) and she bites in. SIDE NOTE- the food in England sucks ass, nothing they have tastes good save their forigen cuzine. IF the Germans would have bombed them with cookbooks the war would have been over in hours.
After tasting my families pecan cookies she looks at all the men in our shop and says to me "I love your nuts" in sheer amazment of the cookie, you can guess what happened next

 

[sportlinecrx]

Originally posted by TrailorParkPimp@Jul 14 2003, 10:48 PM
i just wanna choke the living shit outta this bitch at work every time i se her. she is THE biggest fucking brown noser i have ever met. she snitches on everyone, listens to other people conversations, tries anything and everything possible to not break AND gets away with it. her production sucks, shes slow as molasses when it comes to doing her fucking job and last not but no least shes a fucking dipshit. she has only been there 2 weeks longer than me and a few other people, she makes the same as i do....and gets away scott free with everything. GRRRRRR shes pisses me (and other co-workers off) so fucking bad!! die brown noser die!!

unfortunately, the way life is..shes probably the one who will get the big promotions and soon you will all have to work under her

 

[sportlinecrx]

BTW, i like the siezed trailer hitch story i think maybe you were a litle stressed eh?

craziest thing i ever did was not come in and not call in (i tried to but the damn phone i chose did not work). my boss panicked and started calling the local hospitals ...and i still have that job too

 

[halcyon985]

In EMS everybody just fucks at work... the girls are real sluts...

 

[sportlinecrx]

i think i now know what i wanna be when i grow up!

 

[posol]

grow up?? you're old enough to be half our membership's dad!!

anyway, well, saturday me bill and a friend of his were taking down an old basketball hoop in his yeard... after digging forever, and getting no where, we hooked up an old seat belt to the tow hooks of his subaru legacy (old). popped that biznitch in 4wd, and yanked and yanked until we pulled it out of the ground. it was pretty funny

 

[sportlinecrx]

shhhhhh...i AM their dad.

 

[BigJ]

These stories are quite funny.

What we do at my work(bk) is have like little fry wars, where all the kitchen help(me and my buddy) throw tons of stuff at the hot chicks that work front counter. Last time they got my buddy real good, and yeah I busted out the hose on them and soaked em both. My manager doesnt' care at all, as long as he gets to grab ass when needed and we make him food when asked.

 

[HondasHateMe]

Originally posted by rixXxceboy@Jul 14 2003, 11:56 PM
shhhhhh...i AM their dad.