kriz
New Member
Since the previous thread got crazy and was locked I'm making one to argue my case here... I realize I'm only 17 and I have not had as much experience in relationships as most of you BUT I still feel like what you guys are saying doesn't make much sense.
When you break up with someone, why would it be a bad idea to be friends? It tempts you to go back you say... Yeah that can be true, its happened to me (with the chick I just had a really bad breakup with, in fact) but not necessarily. Just because you like someone's personality and also like them physically doesn't mean you're going to get with them at the first chance you have. For example there's another girl at my school with whom I've had a kind of on/off relationship, definitely did not work out very well. We just hooked up at the wrong times, either I didn't really want to be with her or she didn't really want to be with me and it turned to shit. Regardless I really enjoy her company, she's funny and very smart. I told her we should forget about our previous relationships and just be friends and we have been since. Sometimes there's a bit of awkwardness here and there but with time it fades off. Aside from that... when you say this:
It makes me mad. This girl was a total b*** to me, she f***ed me over ok? So I should go out of my way to avoid getting in hers? I'm sorry but that seems like what she would want me to do in the first place. I want to carry on with my life just the way it was, show her it doesn't make a difference whether she's by my side or not. The only reason I would have wanted to stay in good grounds with her is because we have a lot of mutual friends and it makes a lot of situations very awkward and unpleasant when I'm not acknowledging her existence and she is constantly dissing me indirectly. I mean even if it isn't the "mature" thing to do, why should I have to change my routine for her when she doesn't deserve it? Its not like I'm looking for a conflict, in fact I avoid being by her as much as I can in general but not enough that it will affect my own social life. How is it fair for me to say, not go to a party or hang out with a group of friends because she's there? She was the b**** if she doesn't like my presence she can leave.
/end rant ^_^
When you break up with someone, why would it be a bad idea to be friends? It tempts you to go back you say... Yeah that can be true, its happened to me (with the chick I just had a really bad breakup with, in fact) but not necessarily. Just because you like someone's personality and also like them physically doesn't mean you're going to get with them at the first chance you have. For example there's another girl at my school with whom I've had a kind of on/off relationship, definitely did not work out very well. We just hooked up at the wrong times, either I didn't really want to be with her or she didn't really want to be with me and it turned to shit. Regardless I really enjoy her company, she's funny and very smart. I told her we should forget about our previous relationships and just be friends and we have been since. Sometimes there's a bit of awkwardness here and there but with time it fades off. Aside from that... when you say this:
invisibledemon said:"you see her everyday in school? change your route through the hallways. have the same class or lunch? move your seat the furthest away possible. talk to your teachers about keeping the distance, tell them that you two broke up and you are wanting to keep away so as to avoid any conflict in class/lunch. usually, anything that can help keep commotion to a minimum, teachers are all for."
It makes me mad. This girl was a total b*** to me, she f***ed me over ok? So I should go out of my way to avoid getting in hers? I'm sorry but that seems like what she would want me to do in the first place. I want to carry on with my life just the way it was, show her it doesn't make a difference whether she's by my side or not. The only reason I would have wanted to stay in good grounds with her is because we have a lot of mutual friends and it makes a lot of situations very awkward and unpleasant when I'm not acknowledging her existence and she is constantly dissing me indirectly. I mean even if it isn't the "mature" thing to do, why should I have to change my routine for her when she doesn't deserve it? Its not like I'm looking for a conflict, in fact I avoid being by her as much as I can in general but not enough that it will affect my own social life. How is it fair for me to say, not go to a party or hang out with a group of friends because she's there? She was the b**** if she doesn't like my presence she can leave.
/end rant ^_^