Cingulerity

[reckedracing]

so how many bedroooms do you have?
you sleeping on the couch?

Something that I suggest everyone does. It's not fair when she (as she is) has perfect credit, never paid a bill late and works diligently for good standing, has to have her credit ruined by my flighty, almost bohemian finances. Seperate credit is something that works well for both parties.

i also had the clock reset
me and the old lady keep very seperate finances
her savings grows, while i pay the rent, electric, cable
but i got her to buy the groceries and she feeds me, its a step forward

 

[Celerity]

so how many bedroooms do you have?
you sleeping on the couch?


i also had the clock reset
me and the old lady keep very seperate finances
her savings grows, while i pay the rent, electric, cable
but i got her to buy the groceries and she feeds me, its a step forward

It's a step forward, but you need to make sure that you're both on the same page. She should be picking up this slack not because she "has to", (Role and responsibility) but because she "wants to". Careful with that axe, Eugene.

I have 3 bedrooms. One is her office, I've asked her to move her things out of her office so I can take over. every piece of furniture in my house is hers. In fact, I still don't own a TV. I have a desktop computer and some smaller items. The bed is hers, and I never liked sleeping in it. The couch is comfortable, and I understand that she doesn't like the couch, so I don't expect her to take it.

But I've learned to NEVER have expectations in situations such as these. I'm prepared to wind up with a house with absolutely nothing in it - and be happy with that.

The garage, on the other hand, is all mine. Even my office is stacked with a combination of her things and mine - She has a LOT of stuff. I am minimalist.

The seperation of beds wasnt too tough - It's not like we've been coating each other in love and respect over the past few months. Things have worn down so that at bed time, she just disappears and tries to fall asleep before I get there. Intimacy tapered off a pretty long time ago. That's when I started to investigate and not only think about this day, but prepare for it. That's also when I learned that she is behaving in a way that is alot like "packing her parachute".

I have always held onto hope that things would get better, that I would get a new job, my mom would move out, and my girlfriend would start loving me again. That doesn't happen, and I knew that - but I held on because to me, it's a hope worth holding on to. But I've learned (well, I learned this when I was goddam 12) that when things are going tough, that's when you should be CLOSER, not more distant. Again, I didn't provide the stable environment that she was raised with, and I didn't get the ultra-supportive environment that I was used to. It wasn't healthy for either of us.

 

[TommyTheCat]

Thanks for the background - I understand what you were getting at. And I see we are talking around the same thing.

And this is another example of illusion vs reality. The illusion being that someone with a certain, overriding quality is better for Joe Schmoe, yet the reality being that they aren't overall better.

 

[Celerity]

The illusion being that someone with a certain, overriding quality is better for Joe Schmoe, yet the reality being that they aren't overall better.

Furthermore, We pick life-partners based on criteria that we aren't prepared to even identify, much less deal with throughout life. Widdle it down further, and you'll see that the worst thing you can do to a human is put them in contact with another human. Entropy begins.

Put a happy person and a depressed in one room, and guess what state of mind they'll walk out with ? Entropy wins over effort, it's nature. Everything falls apart, and is reclaimed by the earth. The shiny new, precision instrument of a bike that I ride is, while I look at it, dissintegrating and falling apart. The moment something is born, it starts to die.

Depressing ? Kinda. All in how you look at it. You can see the beauty in it, or the horror in not having everything. Everyone suffers.

 

[TommyTheCat]

Oh, I see the reality of life and others label it/me as depressed. I understand.

 

[Celerity]

Oh, I see the reality of life and others label it/me as depressed. I understand.

That's not the way that I see it, although that is the way that I have described it. I have described a founding principle of Buddhism, or perhaps even nihilism, not my personal beliefs.

Lots of people believe that once you find the "point" or "meaning" of life, you'll just commit suicide. At that point, it's all been done and you can look forward to moving onto the next stage.

I don't subscribe to that school of thought. There is much more to it. Somewhere between "The meaning of life is to procreate and exist" and "Life is nature's way of keeping meat fresh" lies the truth.

The purpose and meaning to life, love, strong relationships, and personal success is (luckily) one that's open to interpretation. I don't see myself being happy in a Mother Theresa way, with no possessions, nor do I see myself being happy with every material possession I ever wanted (I'll have nothing to look forward to). My perception, as yours, should lie somewhere between there.

I see the beauty, necessity, and inevitability of entropy, but I live my life with permenance as a goal. I have a very nihilistic view of what is or is not "permanent" (Nothing, pretty much) but I treat things as permanent. Even in Death. When someone dies, it is possible to do harm to their legacy, that lasting (If fleeting) mark on the world that continues the existence of people, places, and things even though their physical presence does not.

The folly in my reasoning is that it has no folly, and therein lies it's folly. Daoism at it's finest.

 

[Celerity]

Oh, and to continue briefly with some concepts:

The beauty in life is that we are not going to live it. If we lived forever, without death - then our interpersonal relationships would slowly become less and less significant. We would ultimately have very little, or no, regard for our fellow man.

Were we inherently happy, then our happiness or lack of drive towards a goal would itself be our undoing. This is why Eden can not exist while we continue to grow. Things can't be perfect, because it's really unfair if they were. ("The only reason we exist is to ultimately not exist, as only our non-existence can balance the infinite universe" part of Celerity's Paradox)

Matter does not care if it is large or small, whether it is dying or about to be destroyed. Only Consciousness does. Consciousness is driven by it's addictions (Hindi belief)

(cliff's notes - The only way to be satisfied with life is to forsake life, or in plain terms, start with killing yourself)

 

[BigJ]

Deep.


I haven't had a long lasting relationship for about 2 years. I don't mind but life in the single lane, but it can be empty at certain times. Right now I quazi have someone, but I believe I am the golden parachute. Not a good feeling, but I can't avoid it.

 

[Kanned]

You're always one to spit out some interesting stuff, Cel.
All I can say is you are of true value to yourself to take it in stride, not doing anything horrifically stupid and moving on. Nearly nobody handles it like that. To look on the even brighter side, neither of you have the other's name tattooed on your ass.

 

[Bob Vila]

I am currently looking for work at the 100-140k salary range with my new certs (This is median pay for a project manager in my area)

A PM of what? And what "certs" do you speak of?

 

[TurboMirage]

ahh steve now i see what you meant about the phones.

 

[Celerity]

A PM of what? And what "certs" do you speak of?

PMI PMP certification. I do Project Management in IT as experience, but I can move to Construction or research easily.. I know "about" construction, but I have little experience in it. I know terminology and roles, have a good amount of knowledge in permits and regulations.

 

[Bob Vila]

So what "class" did you take, and have you taken the exam?

 

[Celerity]

I took the class at New Horizons, PMI curriculae. Taking the test is very difficult, every project in my 700 hours of projects is auditted, I pay a buttload of money to the org to join, and they may not even pass me.

I rank very well with the practice exams, but I'm still in line to take the test. That, and at least right now I seriously lack the $600 necessary to do so.

The question in 2 weeks is: Do I take this test, or do I pay my electric, phone, and bike payment ?

 

[Bob Vila]

I took the class at New Horizons, PMI curriculae. Taking the test is very difficult, every project in my 700 hours of projects is auditted, I pay a buttload of money to the org to join, and they may not even pass me.

I rank very well with the practice exams, but I'm still in line to take the test. That, and at least right now I seriously lack the $600 necessary to do so.

The question in 2 weeks is: Do I take this test, or do I pay my electric, phone, and bike payment ?

Yes the test is diffulcult, but you're off on some of the notes above:
With a BA you are required to hold at least 3 years or 4500 hours leading a project to be eligble for examination.
Without a BA you are required to hold at least 5 years or 7500 hours leading a project to be eligible for examination.

The cost of the exam is 405 bucks if you're a member of PMI and 555 if not a member. Becoming a member of PMI does not grant you a "pass" as the exam is 200 multiple choice questions. 25 of these questions are not scored against the passing grade which is around 67%+ from the time that I took the exam.

The membership cost to join PMI is $129.00. Once you have passed the exam you are required to keep up with the designation which is 60 PDU every 3 years.

I have passed the exam and also hold a Master's Certificate in Project Management from George Washington University. This is my job so its dear to my heart that this info is correct. I'm an IT Project Manager and PMO Director so when it comes to PM, it's in my blood.

What types of projects have you lead?

 

[BigJ]

Yes the test is diffulcult, but you're off on some of the notes above:
With a BA you are required to hold at least 3 years or 4500 hours leading a project to be eligble for examination.
Without a BA you are required to hold at least 5 years or 7500 hours leading a project to be eligible for examination.

The cost of the exam is 405 bucks if you're a member of PMI and 555 if not a member. Becoming a member of PMI does not grant you a "pass" as the exam is 200 multiple choice questions. 25 of these questions are not scored against the passing grade which is around 67%+ from the time that I took the exam.

The membership cost to join PMI is $129.00. Once you have passed the exam you are required to keep up with the designation which is 60 PDU every 3 years.

I have passed the exam and also hold a Master's Certificate in Project Management from George Washington University. This is my job so its dear to my heart that this info is correct. I'm an IT Project Manager and PMO Director so when it comes to PM, it's in my blood.

What types of projects have you lead?

Now we know who poppa deep pockets is.

 

[Celerity]

Sweet, good to know, PMI is a tightly knit and policed round of golf.

You want my PMI entered list of projects ? I have done server room builds, server relocations, DR site setups and DR implementation, I did the SOX roll out of IT methods and documentation for a FERC regulated company, multiple roll-outs as a consultant, a staff restructuring at Yale, several helpdesk tools initiatives at Yale, security roll-outs and router roll-outs for an ISP... Interested in more ?

 

[Bob Vila]

Now we know who poppa deep pockets is.

 

[Celerity]

The pay scale for Project Manager would prolly piss you off, if you didn't know the kind of mind-boggling shit that goes into a successful project.

Time management alone, is like time travel. Risk analysis, cost / benefit ratios - It's nothing short of putting a tangible dollar amount to an Event. Like "Joe has to go get coffee. This event is $4." "I can have coffee delivered for 5 people at $3 a cup" "Anyone else want coffee? Joe, sit your ass down"

Someone discovered recently that it's more economical to throw out hospital sheets and gowns than it is to wash them. That's nutty, but again, it's part of project management, and PM takes serious intelligence to do correctly.