my turn

[TurboMirage]

shit went down tonight...

ive been with this girl sabrina for the better part of 2 1/2 years. we met at some silly party, she hit me with a badminton racket and as a joke i was going to sleep with her and i didnt even know her name. horrible huh? well i really started to like her and we dated.

we did so much together, and went through so much shit. her mom hated me and put her under chins, and me on a restraining order but for the 9 months that was on we still saw each other - me in cuffs once for her catching us together and her in cuffs because her mom had no idea what the chins was really about... but we got through it.

it was craziness... imagine a girl who likes cars, and can drive stick really well (after burning out a clutch) and bought my 240sx from me after i got tired of it and wanted to go back to FF. she was there for me when i rolled my civic, and took me everywhere i needed to go when i lost my license for 6 months.

everything was cool for a good while...

shes been working at the hospital for over 3 years, and started college 5 days a week... while working 35-40 hours a week there, and then took on another job... another 10-15 hours...

the last few days, we've been just fighting about how we never spend any time together and how my parents have been driving me crazy at having a "racecar" when i should be out spending on an apartment. sucks. ive been great at budgeting, and i have a sweet credit score... so im thinking im going to move out soon, and leave my turbo projects for some other time and just race the mirage as-is after my rebuild...

anyways, tonight we broke up. it was really bad. ive never cried so hard ever. she wants to stay friends, and she wants us to be together, but with everything on her plate she feels bad that we have no time together. its my fault too, since i nag her about it... ive given up excessive clubbing and nights out with my other girl "friends" (just friends, i promise) and all sorts of other neat stuff that i liked to do.

the thing sabrina was getting at is she doesnt want a boyfriend and she says she isnt looking... she wants things to stay the same just without the title, and she's been afraid to say anything because she doesnt want to hurt me. she still wants me around to hang out with her, and to be "together"... just seems wierd i guess. sucks worse since she had all these big suprises for my birthday, but she still wants everything to happen.

so in a way, nothing is changing, but it is. make sense? i really care about her alot... never thought i could get so attached to this someone who has been a big part of my life since i met her. crazy. its really hard for her to open up sometimes, and ive hardly seen her cry about anything.

it hurts alot, but im not really sure it should. i understand her feelings though. ive tried my best to give her the space she wants. so all in all, she wants to get back together when things quiet down.

i dont know... just makes me feel like shit.

 

[Airjockie]

Just go buy her a daimond ring and get it over with....

 

[TurboMirage]

perhaps someday clayton... i really wouldnt mind.

 

[Airjockie]

Get err done.....


Marry her if you think you can spend the rest of your life with her....then the fights will get interesting...


Nahhh...you guys make a cute couple...IMHO...you should hitch up with her....in a permanately type of a manner...but remember...no kids till you get a house.

 

[TurboMirage]

we always fight about stupid little things. usually its me blowing stuff out of proportion, i guess.

craziness.... we're too young to get married... i need to finish up my degree... she wants to go through a nursing course.

 

[Loco Honkey]

You know what man...? Bah, nevermind. You'll figure it out.

 

[totalburnout]

Things will work out one way or another. Its fun for each and everyone of us to believe that the world starts and stops with our heart's pitter-patter but unfortunately it doesn't. You're forced to move on or adjust and there arent any two ways about it.

Coming from someone who can relate from both sides of the story, I've had a relationship with my girlfriend for the better part of two years...85% of which was long distance and still is. We basically developed our relationship the same sort of way that you guys did, except we met on a high school foreign language trip to Spain. She wasnt my first choice on the trip, without even knowing her but it wound up that within 10 days, the last 3 or 4...I fell head over heels. Its my first real relationship and I have been a y0 y0 ever since. Those last few months of my junior year and the summer going in to my senior year were amazing. I made a shitload of sacrifices all through my senior year giving up just about every weekend to drive 400miles. I was then on the otherside of the spectrum after we started to fight because of the distance (we never fought in person and never really have anything more than a tiff in person). I've wanted to kiss her and I've wanted to tell her off so many times its unbelievable. We're still together, I love her to death. We've broke up 3 or 4 times for the longest period of a day or so...we just couldnt go without each other even though we thought we could.

Perhaps the same will happen for you and she'll find out that she can't go without you, or perhaps not. Whatever the case, I'm sure that life will still be happy and meaningful to you in the end.

This is coming from someone who has no real problem with being with one woman since he was 17 or 18. It would be nice to be able to sleep around and do all those k inds of things but I also value my relationship with her so much that I just can't give it up for something 'petty'. Just so you know where I'm coming from.

I suspect that you probably were one of the few to actually read this because you're obviously in a time of need. Hope any of that helped.

Goodluck, godspeed.

 

[TurboMirage]

word man... ive given up on the whole sleeping around thing for her. just that special someone i suppose.

i really hope we work it out, sucks to start over.

 

[totalburnout]

Originally posted by Airjockie@Nov 7 2004, 02:01 AM
Get err done.....


Marry her if you think you can spend the rest of your life with her....then the fights will get interesting...


Nahhh...you guys make a cute couple...IMHO...you should hitch up with her....in a permanately type of a manner...but remember...no kids till you get a house.

[post=413313]Quoted post[/post]​

Thats my feelings on things. If I wasnt going to sink every last dime into a new car and gas money to see my girlfriend, I think I'd be sinking it into putting the perfect rock on her hand.

 

[Airjockie]

Originally posted by TurboMirage@Nov 7 2004, 02:03 AM
we always fight about stupid little things. usually its me blowing stuff out of proportion, i guess.

[post=413314]Quoted post[/post]​

Thats a sign that your bored with the normal relationship type of stuff...your nagging each other cause you just want more attention from her, or she wants more of your attention. Your argument prolly end up with a huge making out scene and end up in a bed somewhere......thats why you want to fight. IT actually brings you closer.

<-----knocking on 9 years with the same woman...err wife.

 

[totalburnout]

Originally posted by TurboMirage@Nov 7 2004, 02:05 AM
word man... ive given up on the whole sleeping around thing for her. just that special someone i suppose.

i really hope we work it out, sucks to start over.

[post=413318]Quoted post[/post]​

See here's the only thing that scares me.


Not being conceited, I'm a good looking guy and in good shape. I'm savvy and have a fair amount of intelligence. I'm not overly confident but I don't think that I really lack any self esteem or suffer from overly low confidence. All this well and dandy, but it scares me to think about starting over. That was always the burning question in my mind whether I just want to stay with someone who I know is good for me, or chance it, start over and maybe not end up with someone as good or even somebody at all.

If you do have to start over, thats not a good line of thinking. Fear will eat you alive and confidence is probably the number one thing that all girls would like in a guy. So if you do have to go out on the 'hunt' eventually, remember that.

 

[TurboMirage]

im sure i wouldnt have any problems attracting women.

id just rather not everything that we've had together to this point go to shit. but i feel you on what you said.

 

[Citizen_Insane]

Give it time man. I know it sounds fucking cheasy, but if you're meant to be together it'll work out. I broke up with my gf of 2.5 years because we were going to college, but I think it was for the better. It was really tough for a bit, but things look up, they always do. You can still look arround (if you know what I mean) even if you still love.

 

[driverunknown]

Nope a rock will not solve shit. Things don't magically get better by getting married. If nothing is changing then why did you cry? That's retarded that she doesn't want the tiltle. What title? Girlfriend. BS. If you guys have time to be together at night then that's all you need.

 

[SlushboxTeggy]

hey man, my older sister did the same thing to her boyfriend of 2 years. she didnt go around lookin elsewhere, she truely just couldnt handle a relationship on top of it all. but if your girl is anything like my sister, she will come back after it is all over. sometimes the stress is just too much.

i personally was in a relationship like that and got burned so i havent had a gf since. i get around or whatever you want to call it, but i still think about what could have or should have been.

 

[civicious]

go kill a hooker. it'll make you feel a lot better about everything.

 

[totalburnout]

Originally posted by driverunknown@Nov 7 2004, 04:12 AM
Nope a rock will not solve shit. Things don't magically get better by getting married. If nothing is changing then why did you cry? That's retarded that she doesn't want the tiltle. What title? Girlfriend. BS. If you guys have time to be together at night then that's all you need.

[post=413351]Quoted post[/post]​

If you understand relationships and you understand girls, you'll understand why.

Its less pressure for her if she isn't called his girlfriend. She doesnt have to perform to the standards that a 'girlfriend' usually would. She has her space and doesnt have to worry about spending every waking moment when she's not doing something, with him.

Why did he cry? Because some of us guys are still emotional and its a hard blow to fathom after investing so much time with someone.

 

[totalburnout]

Originally posted by civicious@Nov 7 2004, 08:08 AM
go kill a hooker. it'll make you feel a lot better about everything.

[post=413359]Quoted post[/post]​

*laughed out loud*

giggle giggle.

 

[posol]

chris-

been there, done that. and let me tell you, it doesn't work.

you either
A- end up getting back together in like two days cuz you both want ass, or
B- you really never talk to each other ever again.


If I were you, I'd take it as a "break".
you're young- go pimp some chicks out. Go around the block a few times. And if after that, you still think you want to be with brie- than, it was meant to be.

 

[Trinity]

honestly by saying she wants things to stay the way they are cause well she doesn't want a boyfriend in case something else comes a long but she still wants someone there to give her the attention she needs. its that simple