Hey there, sweet thing. Saw you having trouble getting your car started, thought I’d stop and give you a hand. Pretty little lady like you shouldn’t be out here at night in this parking lot all alone. You never know what kind of creeps might come along, right?
Let’s see here… looks like a dead battery. Now, if you had one of those ICP Solar 1 Watt 12 Volt Battery Saver things, this probably never would have happened. Those help prevent dead car batteries, which can be caused by radios, clocks, weather conditions, heck, all sorts of things. I bet it’s because of the cold tonight. You look like you could use a warm place to sleep, I bet. Anybody waiting for you at home? Bet not, since you needed to call a guy like me. Good thing I’m a guy like me, right? Hey, do you work out? You look like you work out. Real toned. Firm. Nice and firm. Anyway, so yeah, let me hook up these jumper cables here because this is going to take a while.
I bet you got a boyfriend, though, don’t you? Where’s he at tonight? Oh, at work… so he doesn’t even know you’re out. That’s real interesting. Must be pretty nice, having all that freedom in a relationship. I once bought this magazine that talked all about relationships like that. Yeah, it is too bad you didn’t have a ICP Solar 1 Watt 12 Volt Battery Saver. They even work when it’s cloudy, you know, they’re real efficient. Hooks right up to your cigarette lighter or 12 volt socket. Heh, did you hear me? I said “hooks up”. Guess that’s one of those Freudian slips. The ICP Solar 1 Watt 12 Volt Battery Saver also can extend how long your battery stays full of juice. Heh. OK, now you try to start your engine. No, no, no, stop. Not ready yet.
You know who you remind me of? This babysitter I used to have when I was a kid. Boy, did I have the hots for her. No, no point it trying to start it yet, we’ll just have to hang out awhile and wait. Too bad you didn’t have a ICP Solar 1 Watt 12 Volt Battery Saver. But, hey, who needs one of those when you’ve got Good Samaritans like me around, right? Now let me ask you a serious question. When’s the last time that boyfriend of yours told you that you smelled good?
