ok 5 min. threadjack commencing.
i put an ad out for a roomate in a 2br apartment back in '95 'coz my previous roomate got married and moved in w/her hubby (bitch, hehe) and this girl answered my ad:
she's now the anchor for 'good morning, el paso' and is married to a doctor and has a buttload of kids, and has made quite a name for herself. i guess i'm kinda happy for her since she managed to turn her college ho status around and it doesn't look like she puked herself dead. lemme back up.
so she answers my ad, brings her whole family (7 sibs + 'rents) to meet me, and they tell me how she's a golden kid, miss teen new mexico '92 and whatnot. she looks like she can pay rent, so i say cool.
fast forward, my clothes are disappearing out of my closet, my makeup is disappearing, she broke the lease and put a whole bunch of holes in the brick wall in her room (oy damage deposit) but that's the little stuff. she was bulimic and our bathroom always stunk like vomit, and i'd come home at night to fast food bags and containers all over the living room and kitchen, vomit stink in the bathroom, and no f!cking toilet paper.
but really, that wasn't the clincher either. after about 6 months of living with her i couldn't handle the 1-2am phone calls from her boyfriend (who lived in Washington) -- he'd call asking if his baby was home, and what the hell was i supposed to say when she's in her bedroom boffing a different guy pretty much every night of the week? i wasn't covering for her, i just didn't wanna get involved in her drama.
so when i'd have the misfortune of answering these calls (because i got tired of the phone ringing all damn night and i couldn't sleep, and she was sure as shit too busy to answer her bf's calls, what with the other guy's dick in her ass), i'd just tell him i was sleeping (hint) but her door was closed and i didn't see her come home. not lying...just hoping he'd hang up.
yeah i'd decided it was time for my own place somewhere in all that, but i hadn't gone looking yet. the last straw was when i came home after a weekend away and the house smelled like complete ass, and i couldn't find the cause. i lifted the toilet seat, thinking maybe she or her weekend fling forgot to flush, but there was nothing there - - though this was definitely the epicenter of the stink. so i kinda scout around; trashcan is empty, there's no toilet paper (as per usual, i'd gotten into the habit of hiding a roll in my closet because she'd use whatever tp there was for cleaning up her yack).
i decided maybe everything in the bathroom just needed to get washed. so i picked up the rug, and pulled the fugly rug toilet seat cover off the toilet and AHAH!!!! i found the source of the ass stink......
apparently one of her flings needed to crap, found there to be no tp, and removed the toilet seat cover and wiped his ass on the inside of it and then put it back on the toilet seat.
so yeah, i moved the fuck out pretty much 3 days later. our schedules were completely off, so i thought it would be wise to just write her a note explaining it was time for me to get my own place, blah blah. i kept it mostly nice, didn't bring up the issues (though i should have). i went to drop my key off after i'd finished moving, and walked into the apartment and she had ripped the handle off of the fridge and thrown it across the kitchen, and dumped two bags of garbage all in the living room and kitchen.
she was setting me up for the landlord. i cleaned it all up, mopped and watered her plants with the water, and used her toothbrush to clean the bathroom. then i called the landlord and had him come inspect and handed him my key.
never talked to that bitch again. she's on my short list of people to push off of a cliff.