Uh...yea, more drama?
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YouKnowWhoIBee
my avatar is better.
nah now that you speak of it that way, I didnt know all that happened the way i read the second statement by you was that she did start it. But damn... fuck a restraining order..... castration 
But i see where you are coming from now. In your eyes what would be the outcome you would like to see happen? I mean i know you you have hate built up for this guy but what do you want to see happen? In my opinion(now i dont know this dude) but i would like to see this guy go to jail, for a long time. It is fucked up to hit a girl no matter what but to beat on innocent children? That is crazy. I dont care if it was a "blackout" or not there is no reason to hit a girl. She could beat the shit out of me i would take it and let it go. I would be a man and take care of my kids the best that i could. Stop smoking pot ad doing all this shit and be a man and grow up. Kids change peoples lives for the worse, when children are a blessing and not something when you get tired of them walk away. I blame drugs for this 100%. Maybe you should start being a "father" type figure to these children to help ease the pain the have seen and felt. If i lived closer i woud help out.
edit - a little to personal
But i see where you are coming from now. In your eyes what would be the outcome you would like to see happen? I mean i know you you have hate built up for this guy but what do you want to see happen? In my opinion(now i dont know this dude) but i would like to see this guy go to jail, for a long time. It is fucked up to hit a girl no matter what but to beat on innocent children? That is crazy. I dont care if it was a "blackout" or not there is no reason to hit a girl. She could beat the shit out of me i would take it and let it go. I would be a man and take care of my kids the best that i could. Stop smoking pot ad doing all this shit and be a man and grow up. Kids change peoples lives for the worse, when children are a blessing and not something when you get tired of them walk away. I blame drugs for this 100%. Maybe you should start being a "father" type figure to these children to help ease the pain the have seen and felt. If i lived closer i woud help out. edit - a little to personal
92civicb18b1
The Trisexual
My car is still in PA. I have no way to get there, it's still on the side of the road, it will probably be towed today.
On Wednesday, I went to Municipal court to handle my issues. The court that I went to hates me for some reason and looks down on me because I acquired the same charges within 48 hours of each other. It's a long story that I'm not getting into.
I can't move very far now and almost have to move to Sussex County now to deal with my penalties. This court went out of their way to bring up charges from 2000. With that, instead of me facing a minor 10-20 (a week at most with good time) days in the county jail, I was facing more like 240 days in the county jail or 80 with good time. My lawyer worked it down to 135 days in the county jail, 45 with good time or 90 days S.L.A.P. which is a program in which I work for the county and is non-transferable. If I miss one day, I go to jail, I'd be creditted for the time I served in S.L.A.P. but still would end up in jail.
Of course, I chose slap instead of 45 days because I really don't want to be in jail on Christmas and New Years. I'm having second thoughts. I have to pay to keep myself out of jail, it's not too expensive at $25 intial fee + $8 a day for every day in the program, but it's money I don't have and I'd have to either commute or move out there. And I now owe them $2000+ in fines.
On Wednesday, I went to Municipal court to handle my issues. The court that I went to hates me for some reason and looks down on me because I acquired the same charges within 48 hours of each other. It's a long story that I'm not getting into.
I can't move very far now and almost have to move to Sussex County now to deal with my penalties. This court went out of their way to bring up charges from 2000. With that, instead of me facing a minor 10-20 (a week at most with good time) days in the county jail, I was facing more like 240 days in the county jail or 80 with good time. My lawyer worked it down to 135 days in the county jail, 45 with good time or 90 days S.L.A.P. which is a program in which I work for the county and is non-transferable. If I miss one day, I go to jail, I'd be creditted for the time I served in S.L.A.P. but still would end up in jail.
Of course, I chose slap instead of 45 days because I really don't want to be in jail on Christmas and New Years. I'm having second thoughts. I have to pay to keep myself out of jail, it's not too expensive at $25 intial fee + $8 a day for every day in the program, but it's money I don't have and I'd have to either commute or move out there. And I now owe them $2000+ in fines.
YouKnowWhoIBee
my avatar is better.
this seems wild... but i am up for helping you get your car if you need it. I know i live in southern PA.... but if you want i can help. It is only gas that i will be wasting so i am not worried about it. If you are willng to accept my help let me know. As long as i can fit it into my busy schedule i will be there.
Battle Pope
Well-Known Member
Is it just me or does it seem like every time you try to get out of trouble, something else happens?
92civicb18b1
The Trisexual
That's exactly what I'm doing, I'm there for them. I won't be a father figure toward the kids because that would make it really confusing for them. Erika is my best friend and they all need time apart for each other. I'm not trying to hook up with her, if something between me and her happens it's going to be a long time from now and it's not going to be me starting it.
I've known her boyfriend for a while. I know how he is, I know his family. He's been to counceling for beating on his mother, and he still hits his mom. He won't change, but I told her it's her decision what she does. I told her this and told her to give it time before she runs back to him. And as fucked up as it may sound, I told both of them I couldn't be either of their friends if they got back together, because I know how it's going to end and if I stayed around and it ends the way I'm picturing it, there's going to be a few lives lost and I'd be going to jail for a LONG time.
I've known her boyfriend for a while. I know how he is, I know his family. He's been to counceling for beating on his mother, and he still hits his mom. He won't change, but I told her it's her decision what she does. I told her this and told her to give it time before she runs back to him. And as fucked up as it may sound, I told both of them I couldn't be either of their friends if they got back together, because I know how it's going to end and if I stayed around and it ends the way I'm picturing it, there's going to be a few lives lost and I'd be going to jail for a LONG time.
formby
learning in progress
you get your self into all this shit because you hang out with loosers...people that have nothing going for them....you will become those people that you surround yourself with...just think about that...if you surround yourself with good/possitive people...good/possitive things will happen...god you ned to get out of there
phyregod
!!YTINASNI
If I'd have seen him punch a two year old I would have ripped his head off of his shoulders.. Nothing makes me more angry than people beating children. I have a two year old, and if anyone EVER tried that shit with her they would be dead. Straight up, no joke.
Man, this sounds like there is no good way out.. You did the right thing by calling the police.. and I can't believe he didn't get attempted murder for trying to smother her.. Probably couldn't be held up in court because, other than one witness, there isn't enough evidence to support it.
I can't say that I know the situation that you are in, but I think I understand it. What you need to do is cut and run.. get the hell out of there. But you feel that if you do, they will get right back together and he will beat the shit out of her from now on.. which is what will happen if she doesn't end up dead. Women who are beaten have weird things going on upstairs.. What this chick needs is councelling. Call up a battered women's shelter or something and get her to go. They will be able to help with the kid situation too. One thing you have to know is, you alone cannot fix this. Not when she is stupid enough to keep going back.
All the while your abusive friend is going to be angry with you for separating him from his family. You will become another target of his rage. Men who beat women are usually total pussies when it comes to confronting other men sho he'll try to shoot you or cut you or something instead of going toe to toe with you.
You can't win this one man.. No matter how you look at it. You stay, you stay mixed in with this shit. You leave, the chick and kids get the hell beat out of 'em. It is HER choice to stick around. She is endangering her children by sticking around, and for that, I feel sorry for the children. Call CPS and report his ass, stick her in a battered woman's shelter, and run like hell. Get the hell out of there and don't ever look back. You will have done your part.
You remind me alot of my younger cousin. Pretty smart kid, strong body, healthy.. Lives in a bombed out trailer with 6 pit bulls with his "wife" and kid. (its someone else's wife, they aren't divorced). He could make a clean cut kid, but instead, he hangs around the wrong people, and they drag him down. They steal from him, they do drugs with him.. He has even become a small-time drug dealer. He has 6 pit bulls because he feels he needs the protection. Every time he goes to jail he waits for "his boys" to show up. They never do. The rest of the family is all clean cut, living well, and having a good life. He is living up to his neck in shit and struggling because of the company he keeps. I've told him time and time again to drop his little circle of friends and life would get better for him, but he doesn't.. He is with the girl that he has now because he saved her from an abusive relationship and she clung to his ass.. Nothing wrong with that other than she brought with her a ghetto ass family and all the wonderful things that come with that. I finally cut him off.. I don't talk to him anymore, I don't see him.. I don't want him coming around my house with his crack headed friends.. They can all go have a ghetto orgy elsewhere.
I think you are the good kid mixed in with the wrong crowd. I'd move and start over if I were you. Hell, I did that earlier in my life and it did me a world of good. I was headed straight down. Quit high school, hanging out with a bunch of druggies and a girlfriend whose family lived in the ghetto and smoked pot all day.. I had moved in with her family. My brother called me one day and told me to come to NM and start over, quit being a dumb ass. I did. I moved, cleaned up, got a new circle of friends and straightened my shit out. Finished high school, met a wonderful girl and ended up marrying her a couple of years later. And now, life is good. If it weren't for my brother, I'd probably be shacked up with my cousin and his pitbulls and our "wives"....
Just start over man.
Man, this sounds like there is no good way out.. You did the right thing by calling the police.. and I can't believe he didn't get attempted murder for trying to smother her.. Probably couldn't be held up in court because, other than one witness, there isn't enough evidence to support it.
I can't say that I know the situation that you are in, but I think I understand it. What you need to do is cut and run.. get the hell out of there. But you feel that if you do, they will get right back together and he will beat the shit out of her from now on.. which is what will happen if she doesn't end up dead. Women who are beaten have weird things going on upstairs.. What this chick needs is councelling. Call up a battered women's shelter or something and get her to go. They will be able to help with the kid situation too. One thing you have to know is, you alone cannot fix this. Not when she is stupid enough to keep going back.
All the while your abusive friend is going to be angry with you for separating him from his family. You will become another target of his rage. Men who beat women are usually total pussies when it comes to confronting other men sho he'll try to shoot you or cut you or something instead of going toe to toe with you.
You can't win this one man.. No matter how you look at it. You stay, you stay mixed in with this shit. You leave, the chick and kids get the hell beat out of 'em. It is HER choice to stick around. She is endangering her children by sticking around, and for that, I feel sorry for the children. Call CPS and report his ass, stick her in a battered woman's shelter, and run like hell. Get the hell out of there and don't ever look back. You will have done your part.
You remind me alot of my younger cousin. Pretty smart kid, strong body, healthy.. Lives in a bombed out trailer with 6 pit bulls with his "wife" and kid. (its someone else's wife, they aren't divorced). He could make a clean cut kid, but instead, he hangs around the wrong people, and they drag him down. They steal from him, they do drugs with him.. He has even become a small-time drug dealer. He has 6 pit bulls because he feels he needs the protection. Every time he goes to jail he waits for "his boys" to show up. They never do. The rest of the family is all clean cut, living well, and having a good life. He is living up to his neck in shit and struggling because of the company he keeps. I've told him time and time again to drop his little circle of friends and life would get better for him, but he doesn't.. He is with the girl that he has now because he saved her from an abusive relationship and she clung to his ass.. Nothing wrong with that other than she brought with her a ghetto ass family and all the wonderful things that come with that. I finally cut him off.. I don't talk to him anymore, I don't see him.. I don't want him coming around my house with his crack headed friends.. They can all go have a ghetto orgy elsewhere.
I think you are the good kid mixed in with the wrong crowd. I'd move and start over if I were you. Hell, I did that earlier in my life and it did me a world of good. I was headed straight down. Quit high school, hanging out with a bunch of druggies and a girlfriend whose family lived in the ghetto and smoked pot all day.. I had moved in with her family. My brother called me one day and told me to come to NM and start over, quit being a dumb ass. I did. I moved, cleaned up, got a new circle of friends and straightened my shit out. Finished high school, met a wonderful girl and ended up marrying her a couple of years later. And now, life is good. If it weren't for my brother, I'd probably be shacked up with my cousin and his pitbulls and our "wives"....
Just start over man.
92civicb18b1
The Trisexual
It's not that easy and at this point...I can't. I'd have to serve my time to Sussex County, then I can leave.
She agreed to go to a battered women's shelter.
I dropped every one of my other friends, these were the only two people I've hung out with for a while now. It's really hard for me to let something like this keep happening, cause if/when something happens and I find out, I'll blame myself. I also have a really good relationship with her mom, her mom calls me just to talk about random shit. Her mother has a good life, lives with her husband and 15 year old son. They're doing all right, she doesn't drink or do drugs. She was also in a previous abusive relationship but turned her life around, she's lived in the same area for 90% of her life.
I used to live with her ex-husband, only for a couple weeks...and he's a fucking nut also. He used to beat her and the kids, he was put in jail and went to counceling, the last time I saw him he was about 4 months ago. He was a complete mess, he was literally taking a shit on his coffee table. I think he brought himself back to counceling.
She agreed to go to a battered women's shelter.
I dropped every one of my other friends, these were the only two people I've hung out with for a while now. It's really hard for me to let something like this keep happening, cause if/when something happens and I find out, I'll blame myself. I also have a really good relationship with her mom, her mom calls me just to talk about random shit. Her mother has a good life, lives with her husband and 15 year old son. They're doing all right, she doesn't drink or do drugs. She was also in a previous abusive relationship but turned her life around, she's lived in the same area for 90% of her life.
I used to live with her ex-husband, only for a couple weeks...and he's a fucking nut also. He used to beat her and the kids, he was put in jail and went to counceling, the last time I saw him he was about 4 months ago. He was a complete mess, he was literally taking a shit on his coffee table. I think he brought himself back to counceling.
Celerity
Well-Known Member
Read this over and over again until you realise why you will continue to follow her, continue to remain in your situation, and continue to suffer. Read it until you read it like I do.
This paragraph disturbs me more than I'm sure it does others. You have phrased something in such a way that speaks volumes, and it's difficult to describe. "I'm not trying to hook up with her" means "I am trying to hook up with her", especially when confirmed with such anti-gens as "If something happens between me and her" and "It's going to happen long time from now" and ".. not me starting it".
You're affirming the very things that you're denying. This, in turn, tells me of your true intent.
Now, read it again.
I detect her pattern. Do you ? Do you detect your own pattern ? I do.
92civicb18b1
The Trisexual
I know what I said and I read it the same way you do.
I'm really not trying to...I wouldn't start it nor would I accept any type of relationship besides friends with her at this point in time. I already said I had feelings for her, but I wouldn't act on it no matter how shitfaced I got, I know what the consequences would be. In the future, after she does what she needs to do to get her shit together, maybe. But there's a strong chance nothing will ever happen.
The kids he beat, were his.
I'm really not trying to...I wouldn't start it nor would I accept any type of relationship besides friends with her at this point in time. I already said I had feelings for her, but I wouldn't act on it no matter how shitfaced I got, I know what the consequences would be. In the future, after she does what she needs to do to get her shit together, maybe. But there's a strong chance nothing will ever happen.
The kids he beat, were his.
phyregod
!!YTINASNI
Wow. Now thats is a statement. x 34 billion.
*edit*
Do your time and run like hell. Keep your nose clean, stay away from everything illegal at least until you are off of all of this probation shit, then cut and run. You need this.
92civicb18b1
The Trisexual
I won't even spank my kids, I've gotten very agrivated with them before but there will NEVER be a day that lay my hands on my children, even my kids could be beating me with a bat and I still wouldn't hit them. I could be 6 feet under...and my child be the one who put me there and I still wouldn't have done it.
I'm usually a pretty content person, this has nothing to do with anything. I've never hit any female or child, play-fighting yes, love-taps if you want to call it that, sure, but never to induce any harm.
I grew up with my grandparents. He pushed my grandmother once in their 60 years of marriage, she fell and broke her wrist. He left for months and went to counceling and anger management.
He hit me a few times, the last time he got a skillet to the face because I was 13 and the previous time he hit me was when I was 7.
**It's easy for someone who isn't in my position to say, run, get out of there.
I'm doing the same thing to her, I know this has got to be hard but it has to be done...
hmm, after typing that. I actually see where you all are comming from. I have to think about this alot harder.
I'm usually a pretty content person, this has nothing to do with anything. I've never hit any female or child, play-fighting yes, love-taps if you want to call it that, sure, but never to induce any harm.
I grew up with my grandparents. He pushed my grandmother once in their 60 years of marriage, she fell and broke her wrist. He left for months and went to counceling and anger management.
He hit me a few times, the last time he got a skillet to the face because I was 13 and the previous time he hit me was when I was 7.
**It's easy for someone who isn't in my position to say, run, get out of there.
I'm doing the same thing to her, I know this has got to be hard but it has to be done...
hmm, after typing that. I actually see where you all are comming from. I have to think about this alot harder.
92civicb18b1
The Trisexual
I really do, Part I would probably become a #1 seller.
Sweet InStinct
Hot Member
Hey man, sorry to hear about your shitty week..
All I can say is just do what feels right in your heart!
Just remember you cant change someone who doesnt want too.. no matter what you say, or do.
Shes got 2 kids with this guy....
Anyhow...
Im sure you'll do the right thing...
Once you are done your SLAP thingy or whatever, Move on with your life. You have to think about yourself, no matter what happens its not your fault, you did all you could so she needs to step up and take control of her own life.
Dont mind me really i dont know what im talking about...
All I can say is just do what feels right in your heart!
Just remember you cant change someone who doesnt want too.. no matter what you say, or do.
Shes got 2 kids with this guy....
Anyhow...
Im sure you'll do the right thing...
Once you are done your SLAP thingy or whatever, Move on with your life. You have to think about yourself, no matter what happens its not your fault, you did all you could so she needs to step up and take control of her own life.
Dont mind me really i dont know what im talking about...
ScrapinSi
Senior Member
Right there... Couldn't have said it better myself...
When I lived in FL, i got into trouble with the people I hung out with. The more I hung out with them, the more trouble I got into. I bought my Si, and said fuck this, i gotta get outta here.. I moved to CT.. I went back to visit 5 months later... In the 4 days I was back in FL... I got into ALOT of trouble (I won't post what happened on here)... I came back home to CT, dealt with what I needed to deal with remotely, and have never looked back.
Talk with your lawyer, PO, and court... Tell them you want to relocate, and try to get your life back on the straight and narrow. If you can setup a PO in your destination, alot of times they will let you go.
StealthMode
Kung Foolin'
RULE NO. 1: LOOK AFTER YOUR OWN SELF! Man, I can't stress that shit enough. We are about the same age, and both of us has been fucked over for stupid shit. Granted, you have been in a lot more trouble than me, but regardless, GET THE FUCK OUT OF THERE! You may think that you can help her, but that will NEVER happen. Mark my words. She will continue to drag you down will her endless bullshit, and you will get wrapped up in all this again. I know you have feelings for her, but that is hurting you more than you will ever know. At this rate, you won't have a future, and you're much too smart for this shit. Shit man, get your stuff done, and move out here to CO. I'll be getting a place over the summer, and you're welcome. But in no way would I want to see you wrapped up in all this shit. You have way too much going for you.
there's no better advise, you need to look out for yourself cause no one else out there is gonna take care of you like you will ofr yourself...
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