Uh...yea, more drama?

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Yes, i think you should get the fuck outta their lives. but the one thing you really should do if you care about those kids, is call CPS. Yea it would be fucked up fro them to lose them, and that girl may cry and ask why you did it, but if she is too naive about the situation to see that what they are doing is going to cause them emotional problems for the rest of their lives, then she doesn't deserve them. shit, if you don't wanna make the call, give me the info and ill do it.

seriously theough. if everyone just turns their head and lets those children stay in the home, the girl will eventually end up with an abusive guy and get her ass beat, just like her mom. and the boy will end up an abusive asshole, just like his dad. thats just how it goes.

that might finally be the wake up call for the mom to get out. if she sees that she can't have her kids in that environment, then she might actually get some brains and leave that asshole. serioulsy, also i'd check into a battered womens shelter around there or something, and see if they could contact her and maybe talk to her. most likely she feels that she has no other place to go, or feels like he will get her wherever she goes. there's a lot of places out there to help these situations, so don't just sit there and let it happen. just think, if you get a call one night that the guy was hitting her and killed her, or worse one of the kids, you will wish you would have spoke up. other than that i say you do back out of their life for a while, but don't just walk off without helping her a little.

or someone can just pay my round trip ticket and i'll go back and beat his ass so bad he'll never touch her again.
 
Celerity @ Nov 17 2005 said:
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92civicb18b1 @ Nov 17 2005 said:
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Erika is my best friend and they all need time apart for each other. I'm not trying to hook up with her, if something between me and her happens it's going to be a long time from now and it's not going to be me starting it.
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Read this over and over again until you realise why you will continue to follow her, continue to remain in your situation, and continue to suffer. Read it until you read it like I do.

This paragraph disturbs me more than I'm sure it does others. You have phrased something in such a way that speaks volumes, and it's difficult to describe. "I'm not trying to hook up with her" means "I am trying to hook up with her", especially when confirmed with such anti-gens as "If something happens between me and her" and "It's going to happen long time from now" and ".. not me starting it".

You're affirming the very things that you're denying. This, in turn, tells me of your true intent.

Now, read it again.

92civicb18b1 @ Nov 17 2005 said:
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her ex-husband......... He used to beat her and the kids, he was put in jail and went to counceling,
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I detect her pattern. Do you ? Do you detect your own pattern ? I do.
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I'm glad I wasn't alone when I read that statement and it immediately jumped out in my head. He's sealed his fate already by even leaving himself open to the idea, which in reality means that he's a creature of habit and when she'll allow him to act on it, HE WILL.



I live in Sussex County...
 
Don't get me wrong...DYFUS has been called on them before and if she hadn't listened to my advice of giving it a few days, I would have called CPS/DYFUS. I love those kids next to my own and when one of them gets smacked in the face because she walks in front of the TV, the anger just builds inside me. When he feels the need to wake the 2 month old every 15 mins...it bothers me. He almost never will even hold her, if she crys and he can't get her to take the bottle or pasafier he'll just put her in his room and shut the door..It's always handled a few minutes later when Erika realizes what he did. I would do it, but it's not my place, I've told him how to do it many times, not only will he not do it but he's kinda rough when he does. I never even got the chance to do that when my daughter was a baby...and I still have enough patience.

***I know you live out there.

And I'm not denying that I may act on it if the oppurtunity arises. I have to think about it a lot more..

I can honestly say if she were to come onto me within the next few months, I wouldn't do anything, she would need more time to think about it and so do I.
 
I'm not sure what kind of a guy your really are...but from the sounds of your delima...I'd make a few sound suggestions and it might help you out down the road.

First...go talk to the PO, the judge, and anyone else that has anything that will involve your life for the next few years...and see if you have an option to serve in any of the military branches....granted...they will ask if you did drugs...and you will have to confir to your recruter and judges and tell them the truth...but there is a high possibility that you can slip in and get on with your life. Say perhaps you did get into the Army, then you have said that you had an interest in driving trucks, so you may be a good canadate for the Corps of Engineers or something in that respect...not all of the people that goes into the services end up fighting on the front lines...they still need to get equipment or items trucked around the country and such....that's if you can even get into the service to begin with.

The people that have a lein on your life might forget all of the hovering circomstances covering your head right now if you say you want to go clean and strait and go military.

Also...your boot camp will give the little lady some time to either dump the bastard or they work it out....either way...you'll be away from them...and once you get to your first duty station...then you can call her to see whats happening with her and the kids...

Plus you will be somewhat set up in a better way to actually take care of her, her kids, and even your own kids....plus what the armed services offer for living conditions is better than what some places your struggling to even get into would cost an arm and a leg...hint...living quarters, foood, and school are free...

And then down the road...if you hook up with her, then you can get off base housing and survive nice and happy til your 4 years are up. And then you'll also have the GI bill, and if your in the service while the wars in the middle East are happening...then you'll get veteran status automatically...and getting a home with a GI loan when your ready will be very helpful. Plus whatever job you do get in the services...will more than likely transfer over to the real world, and you'll have the experiance to snag a decent job down the road.

Just an idea....think it over...
 
i'd disagree...

everyone i knew before the military came back all fucked up in the head....
 
yep I'm still thinking about the military also.

I'm confused about a lot of things and I'm most likely just going to forget this SLAP program and spend 45 days in the county. Less to do, very easy county to be in and it will give me some time to think about what I'm doing with my life.
 
Airjockie @ Nov 17 2005 said:
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Yup...my head is screwed up too.... All I can think about is Japanese women, cars, and beer... :p
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What's so wrong with that??

Military would be a good thing for you man. I would HEAVILY consider that. I was actually about to write that, but I had to go take my Economics final.
 
IMO, joining the military, especially during a time of war, is just plain stupid.

Unless of course you BELIEVE in what Bush is doing.... and in that case, I encourage you to sign up.
 
i was in the military (US Marine Corps) but got discharged while in boot camp. i got a separation type deal where it wasnt honorable and wasnt dishonorable. just basically states i was in there.
 
Blanco @ Nov 18 2005 said:
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I agree that the miltary is a good out for some people, but it's not for others. Be sure that you can actually handle that much authority.
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That is a very true statement. But it really is all just a game. And you have to play by their rules. You can't go into the military acting like Billy Badass, and expect them not to shred your ass. Some people plain just can't handle it. But if you do what you're supposed to, and don't draw any negative attention to yourself, you'll do just fine. You don't have to sign up for 4 years all the time either.
 
I even turned down the opportunity to go to the Acadamy, on a 100% free ride, and be an occifer. Technically, I could be leading in the sandbox right now. Scary thought, eh?
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Yeah...i know what you mean on that one. Im glad i got passed over on that thing now. I enjoy not waking up at 530 in the morning...getting up at 10-11 is actually quite nice.

I lived with "Major Dad" (Army) so long that joining the military seemed like a good move....CRAZY!
 
Still have to think about what I'm doing but I did finally pick up my car. It was there for a while, almost 2 weeks and was tagged to be towed yesterday.
 
Although it's against what I believe in and I know what's going to happen. I'm doing what they both asked, go into court, say nothing or little and sending them both their merry ways, he's most likely still going to get time, which he needs.

I told them before it even got this far that I wasn't going to be around if they go back together and was probably going to leave them alone anyway, either way, both of them.

I'm not sure if they're getting back together, but she's trying to keep him out of jail which leads me to believe they might be. She never will agree with her parents who are as right as me, when we tell her to leave and protect herself and kids. She'll stretch the truth to them to make them agree with her and essenially make her decisions, she does this so she isn't the only one thinking the way she does. I almost would understand because she does love him, but he did this when he was sober and then days later tried to turn it on her.

Oh well, I hope the best for her.
 
well...uhmmm....I hope everything works out with her....

It's a good sign that your wanting to distance yourself... :wink: You got enough problems as it is anyways.






I was thinking....a good way to really distance yourself...get away from the possibility that you have more car related infractions of the law...is to maybe look into the coast guard....they just had an Icebreaker ship for the coast gaurd on the history channel...and from the looks of it...it looked kinda like a fun job...sure cold as hell...but no cars or cops to worry about....and you'll be very far away from any of the drug scene and other things that aways seem to find a way to get you in trouble.
 
So even though I drew myself away from this whole situation, I still have to be involved until court is over.

Anyway, I called her up just to talk and figure out what she's doing,

I don't even want to help her anymore, I'm more sorry for her. This kid FUCKED this girls head up, she's defenitly going back. I knew they violated the restraining order because he begged her too.

I talked to her for a few hours and there is no more Erika...she's now her boyfriend's Erika. He almost controls her mind, he's molded her into someone who revolves completely around him, he's right, she's wrong in any situation. She gave him all the chances in the world, then this, now he's worked his twisted magic to make her come running home. There is no hope for her, at least not comming from anyone she knows. She needs a professional.

I think she needs some serious help, he's put her to the point where she doesn't even want to go to the doctor because he put shit into her head where she thinks he's the only one who should touch her in any situation. When they first started their relationship, he cut her off from everyone, she saw her family maybe once a month and I was the only other person she "knew" because I was always around. I could understand maybe if someone were to come onto her, but he made her think NO ONE else should be around or touch her in anyway. It's really pushing it when she doesn't want to go to the doctor anymore.

I don't know what this kid says or does but it's really disturbing.

It's out of my hands and it's gonna stay that way.
 
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