phyregod
!!YTINASNI
Well, on my way home from Mrs. Phyre's company christmas party (Alone, in the CRX), I was being a dumb ass.. Took off from a stop light, some guy in a truck decided he wanted to race me. So I bit.. Tore his doors off and ran it up to 40ish (the speed limit) and backed off.. He went speeding past me and off into the night. I see another car whip out into the street about a block behind me like a crazy bastard. I think "Oh great, I've attracted some ricer idiot.." Then the ricer idiot popped the cherries.. It was a fucking cop!
Of course, I'm the one that got pulled over. So I found a side road, parked, whipped out my driver's license and insurance and waited.. Cop came up all crazy, swinging nuts
"DO YOU KNOW WHY I PULLED YOU OVER?"
"For being an idiot?"
"YOU KNOW RACING IS ILLEGAL?"
"Yes sir"
"BLAH BLAH BLAH ILLEGAL DISPLAY OF SPEED IS BAD MMM K?"
"I only ran him up to the speed limit then backed off.. You saw it.."
"ITS STILL ILLEGAL! GIVE ME YOUR DL/INS!!"
So I hand it over, he storms back to his cruiser.. I start txting Mrs Phyre, preparing to go to jail. It was 100% certain at that point. So I get to sit there for 10 minutes pondering which bondsman to call, how work was going to handle me showing up 6 hours late after making bail, my license of course being taken away (CDL too, which is how I make a fucking living) Impounding the car isn't a huge deal, unless they decide to make an example out of me and crush it.. That would suck.. Insurance will go through the roof for 3 years.. I can probably fight it in court and get off decently easy.. Will still be out a few thousand even if I do.. Fuck.
Then the cop comes back to the window:
"YOU KNOW RACING ON THE STREET IS ILLEGAL"
"Yes sir"
"I CAN PUT YOU UNDER ARREST AND IMPOUND YOUR CAR, DO YOU KNOW THAT?!?"
"Yes sir"
"DID YOU NOT SEE ME SITTING THERE??"
"No sir, was too busy being an idiot"
"HERE!"(Throws my license in and insurance in my window at me) "WE ARE NEVER HAVING THIS CONVERSATION AGAIN, YOU HEAR ME?? NEVER AGAIN!!"
"Yes sir.... (I'm totally fucking shocked beyond belief at this point) Thank yo.."
DON'T THANK ME, JUST.... (Storms away, didn't finish the sentence..)
So I sat there for a moment.. Still in total shock wondering If I'm misunderstanding the situation and am under arrest.. and he is just waiting for backup.. I'm a pretty big guy, much bigger than the cop was.. So I'm still convinced that I'm headed off to jail and he is waiting for the brute squad. Then he turns off the lights, spot light, pulls out, and drives away.
Holy fucking shit. Not even a written warning. Nothing. NOTHING!! I don't know how the hell I got so damn lucky. I'm totally blown away.
Moral of the story is, don't be a fucktard, boys and girls.
Of course, I'm the one that got pulled over. So I found a side road, parked, whipped out my driver's license and insurance and waited.. Cop came up all crazy, swinging nuts
"DO YOU KNOW WHY I PULLED YOU OVER?"
"For being an idiot?"
"YOU KNOW RACING IS ILLEGAL?"
"Yes sir"
"BLAH BLAH BLAH ILLEGAL DISPLAY OF SPEED IS BAD MMM K?"
"I only ran him up to the speed limit then backed off.. You saw it.."
"ITS STILL ILLEGAL! GIVE ME YOUR DL/INS!!"
So I hand it over, he storms back to his cruiser.. I start txting Mrs Phyre, preparing to go to jail. It was 100% certain at that point. So I get to sit there for 10 minutes pondering which bondsman to call, how work was going to handle me showing up 6 hours late after making bail, my license of course being taken away (CDL too, which is how I make a fucking living) Impounding the car isn't a huge deal, unless they decide to make an example out of me and crush it.. That would suck.. Insurance will go through the roof for 3 years.. I can probably fight it in court and get off decently easy.. Will still be out a few thousand even if I do.. Fuck.
Then the cop comes back to the window:
"YOU KNOW RACING ON THE STREET IS ILLEGAL"
"Yes sir"
"I CAN PUT YOU UNDER ARREST AND IMPOUND YOUR CAR, DO YOU KNOW THAT?!?"
"Yes sir"
"DID YOU NOT SEE ME SITTING THERE??"
"No sir, was too busy being an idiot"
"HERE!"(Throws my license in and insurance in my window at me) "WE ARE NEVER HAVING THIS CONVERSATION AGAIN, YOU HEAR ME?? NEVER AGAIN!!"
"Yes sir.... (I'm totally fucking shocked beyond belief at this point) Thank yo.."
DON'T THANK ME, JUST.... (Storms away, didn't finish the sentence..)
So I sat there for a moment.. Still in total shock wondering If I'm misunderstanding the situation and am under arrest.. and he is just waiting for backup.. I'm a pretty big guy, much bigger than the cop was.. So I'm still convinced that I'm headed off to jail and he is waiting for the brute squad. Then he turns off the lights, spot light, pulls out, and drives away.
Holy fucking shit. Not even a written warning. Nothing. NOTHING!! I don't know how the hell I got so damn lucky. I'm totally blown away.
Moral of the story is, don't be a fucktard, boys and girls.
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