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think about dumping that flimsy holder for some glistening clean chrome to border your "BLING1" vanity plate.
Now that your front end looks all gangsta, let's throw some junk on your trunk. Eliminate the factory taillights and install aftermarket ones. A few examples are the Altezza or carbon fiber tails. I know you rep hard for 'Al's Quality Used Autos,' like you publicize on your plastic plate frame with raised white lettering, but think about dumping that flimsy holder for some glistening clean chrome to border your "BLING1" vanity plate.
Now that your front end looks all gangsta, let's throw some junk on your trunk.
Now, throw on those yellow star shaped glasses you stole from your dad and cruise around to the Shaft theme song (just kidding, don't take after me)
The only way to be genuinely bling, is to make sure that everything is actually shiny
Tell aunt Doris she needs some neon if she wants to roll with your crew.
I was linked to your "get hooked up" article on your website and was quite impressed. What impressed me the most was at how the article managed to insult my aunt, my car, my choice of accessories, and at the same time, come across as if it was written by a 3rd grader describing what they imagine their HotWheels would be like if they were full size. Your article does nothing but promote more of the "me too" garbage that is sold every day around the country, shamelessly and thoughtlessly tacked on and in cars owned by misguided teens and young adults. And you guys don't even sell any of this crap! Hey, there's nothing wrong with making a car look nice, but for chrissakes, put a little thought into the flow of the shape of the car, the usefulness (and legality) of the products, and the gaudiness of the outcome. I'm not sure if you're familiar with the term "rice" but let me explain it to you... first off, it's not a racial term. A "rice boy" can be white, black, mexican, asian, european, or from mars. "Rice" is any non- functional gaudy accessory attached to a car in an effort to make it "unique" just like everyone else out there. "Rice" is laughed at by anyone with a clue, and even my Aunt Doris, who, by the way, told me that she "hates those kids with those damn noisy Hondas with those weird tail lights." Ever wonder why Aunt Doris has a plain living room? Because she doesn't need it to make friends or impress people. She lets her actions and words speak for her.
And this guy that wrote it... Eddie Habeck III... Oh, the 3rd? So there's two more of this meathead somewhere? Great! Where the hell did you find him, anyway? Let me guess... Pimpin' his '89 Civic hatch with a primered body kit outside a high school, trying to pick up 15 year old pooty tang? This guy's got about as much cosmetic improvement sense as Jacko has control around 11 year old boys. He couldn't get a clue if you rubbed him down in clue musk and stuck him in the middle of a field full of horny clues at the peak of clue mating season!
In closing, your article is a joke and adds nothing- not one little iota- to anything car related, and only serves to purport the "sport compact" crap- craze. I don't expect my one letter to make a difference, so I'll tell you how I really feel- I suggest to your COO that he staple your CEO's nuts to his forehead and shove a flaming pineapple up his ass for letting this mindless drivel make it to your corporate web site. If you feel the desire to reply to me with anything other than a hand written apology and a $1000 gift certificate, please put "Re: whaa my pussy hurts" in the subject line so I don't delete it as spam.
Thank you, please drive thru.
If you feel the desire to reply to me with anything other than a hand written apology and a $1000 gift certificate, please put "Re: whaa my pussy hurts" in the subject line so I don't delete it as spam.