Just a few things. I'm pooping and plan on just rambling on.
If she is unhappy with the relationship, you helping to support here doesn't make the slightest bit of difference. I'd rather be happy and poor than rich and unhappy. as with most people... In fact, using that as a reason for why she has it good and should stay with you is just mind blowing.
Never having any fights... Jeef touched on this, if you just get annoyed and set it aside, the problems that you don't see on your end, and she doesnt see on her end, NEVER go away, every few months my wife and i have a talk about issues, there's ALWAYS issues and we are such a good match, yet... yup, still have issues. Hell, if there wasnt anything that needed work, and there was zero challenge to it, what fun would that be? Most people need a balance of good and bad. If not you settle into a routine. That's when things get bland and boring, ask any cat how they like chasing a dead mouse.
As B was pointing out, women dont want to work out it, women have a way of being a light switch, truth is, women with issues do that. I've dated my share of women and have a lot of friends in the 25-40yo range that are dating women. Guess what? There's a lot of good ones out there, there's also a lot of unstable women that guess what? are single... Also a lot of men are out there like that too... Goes both ways. Don't blame women for not being able to talk about issues, blame a person who has issues opening up and talking about things. Men and Women both do that.
You supporting her and not "respecting" her, my take on that is she feels like she has nothing going on for herself and without you she's nothing, shes putting in her head that you think like that also. She might be doing this to prove to herself that she can in deed make life happen on her own without help. That's a problem when 1 side of the relationship supports the other. It's not uncommon for someone to feel like they are just a dependent and after awhile have to change things up because they are... unhappy. Throwing that back at her also fuels the desire to prove you wrong.
What was the point of getting engaged? Too much planning? Too much money? Why not just get married and have a wedding at a later date? My wedding had 2 people in it, my wife and me, we paid $40? for the licenses and the process of being married. Being engaged with zero plans on moving forward is a major red flag. As of 2 months ago before any of this came up, realistically when did you plan on getting married?
My advice to you, stop thinking about the whats whys and ifs, it's pointless, shes clearly unhappy at this point, give her space and leave it be, there's a chance that she will step away, start doing things on her own, prove to herself she can do it, and at that point might have a legit talk with you, wont be for awhile and you'll most likely have moved onto someone else. but that's a best case *in a closure kind of way* Not worse case, she leaves and you never hear from her again, worst case, she leaves, can't afford life and comes crawling back to you, at that point you need to have the balls to say, GTFO.
34 is young, you're in great shape, focus on hobbies and things you enjoy doing and someone else will come along that makes you realize that you really were not as close with your ex as you thought you were. Just because you get along, doesn't mean you are a great fit. Life will go out and you'll be much happier in the end, in fact you might even get engaged to someone else and truly look forward to having the wedding within the year with ZERO thoughts on reasons as to why it can wait...
Good luck and remember life goes on and there's 2374983274034 other women out there, chances are a few of them will put your ex to shame in every way possible. Even when you find one better then her, chances are there's another one better then the newest one and another one better then...
Now I must wipe.
