Happened to me too... fiancee broke up with me out of the blue

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CAFROG

Honda Minion
VIP
Be polite as you can. Don't throw salt.... It will get in your wounds anyways. But don't be a friend who catches up. It's going to make moving on harder. And she won't deserve to know what you been up to. She wants that connection with you still but (IMO) the male mind doesn't work that way normally. In the case of a long term relationship, we can't keep that sperate from what we used to know.

The cut has been done. Now you heal and move on with more knowledge for your future.

The dog situation sucks. It's best to not have any contact/connection to her but I understand the love for a pet. Forrest through the trees crap....I agree with others that you just need to let them go.
 

get_nick

These snozzberries taste like snozzberries...
VIP
I can't wait for the "I got my ex knocked up" thread. lol

From a group of impartial people, you need to just sack up and do other shit. Don't drink. Don't try to bang randoms. Don't get in fights. You don't know single you. Figure out who you are and move on. She made her decision. She doesn't want you back or she wouldn't have dumped you. You have to look in the mirror and tell yourself a million times that she shit on you and what you thought your future was. You can't be friends. She doesn't want that. She doesn't respect you or she would have moved out the same day she shit on you.

You have to come to harsh terms with reality before you are able to get over this and move on.
 

FLounder

power hungry
VIP
Ehh, as of right now, she just annoys me. I have accepted the fact that it's over. Yes, it will be sad all over again when she moves all her stuff out.

Right now my main problem is that I'm stressed out, and can't get a decent nights sleep. I'm a worrier, and I hate uncertainty. Gotta figure out switching bills to my name, figuring out a new budget, learn to take care of all the things she has always done, and then the fact that the house I live in could sell and I will have to move. Also, thinking about a roommate.
 

get_nick

These snozzberries taste like snozzberries...
VIP
I'm a worrier, and I hate uncertainty. Gotta figure out switching bills to my name, figuring out a new budget, learn to take care of all the things she has always done, and then the fact that the house I live in could sell and I will have to move. Also, thinking about a roommate.

So make a list then. If you worry about shit, write it all down and post it on the fridge. You worry because of what you don't know. You don't know because you dont' have a system. You don't have a system because you are lazy and procrastinating. Instead of messing around, get it done. Rip off the band aid. You'll feel better as soon as you get to work.

Also, take some zzzquil. If you can get your hands on some Ambien, that would be best. Also, don't be afraid to consider getting professional help. I had my life fall down around me right around my 30th birthday. My gf left me, had to find a new place, started a new job, started an MBA program, my car went to shit, didn't have any money in the bank, my step-mom died, my grandfather died, and my aunt got shot; all within about a 4 month period. You don't have to do it on your own and there is no shame in getting professional help.
 

FLounder

power hungry
VIP
Damn Nick, you went through a hell of a time there!

Some small updates: I have been sleeping better, thankfully. Im doing ok, just dreading that day when the house is empty. Im going to miss these dogs so much (among other things). Wont be long now till shes gone. Just went out and bought myself a new TV for the bedroom since the old one is hers. I got on Tinder (seems to be the new thing), talking to chicks is fun, havent done that in a long time. Also, got a friend that wants to rent a room basically as soon as shes gone, so that should be nice. I think i will need some company. Im just not used to being alone.
 

get_nick

These snozzberries taste like snozzberries...
VIP
Damn Nick, you went through a hell of a time there!

Some small updates: I have been sleeping better, thankfully. Im doing ok, just dreading that day when the house is empty. Im going to miss these dogs so much (among other things). Wont be long now till shes gone. Just went out and bought myself a new TV for the bedroom since the old one is hers. I got on Tinder (seems to be the new thing), talking to chicks is fun, havent done that in a long time. Also, got a friend that wants to rent a room basically as soon as shes gone, so that should be nice. I think i will need some company. Im just not used to being alone.

Just take a little time to be alone for a while. Don't even worry about a rebound any time soon, that will just lead you to trying to replace your ex with someone new. You still have the feelings for someone and you are going to be looking to share that emotional connection with anybody within arms reach. That isn't fair to you because you aren't ready and it wont be fair to her because you are going to expect her to be the future fiancee from day 1. Like I said before. Learn who you are now. You aren't the same person as when you first started with your fiancee. Find your new favorite music, your new favorite restaurant, your new favorite hobbies. Take all of this new person and what you have learned in your life and give it to someone who deserves it. Start fresh, and you can't start fresh when you aren't ready.
 

FLounder

power hungry
VIP
Ugh, shes still not out. Some shit happened with the old tenants at house shes moving into, and now she wont be fully moved out until the 12th. The house already feels empty, most of her stuff is packed up, and shes not here that much. Im dealing with it ok, but its been one hell of a month. Ive been keeping myself busy with working out, doing side jobs, and hanging out with my brother a lot. Got all the bills in my name now, she helped me with that so that was nice. Sucks realizing i have $2100 a month in bills now and dont even have a car payment, and not counting gas and groceries.

Ive been talking to a girl for about a week and a half now, went on one date. Shes really cool, and has been through a similar breakup. Shes a couple years older than me and has her shit together, im not saying its giong to be a big deal relationship, but for now its fun and shes great to talk to. She invited me to her house to watch football this sunday, so that should be fun.
 

get_nick

These snozzberries taste like snozzberries...
VIP
You need to tell her to get the fuck out. Serious. You're stupid if you don't and you're letting her take advantage of you. She has friends. She has family. I know you want her to be around, but you have to get rid of her. She's your ex-girlfriend for god's sake. What are you going to do when she brings a dude home?!? Tell her to pack up and leave tonight. You aren't in the business of being a bitch. She shit on you without a plan, now she has to deal with it.
 

FLounder

power hungry
VIP
She's more miserable than me at this point. She paid rent till the 15th, and she's not getting anything from me whatsoever. I do wish she would just be gone already.
 

Briansol

Admins
Staff member
Admin
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bills suck, but you said you had a buddy looking to move in, so that will take a chunk out.
for the record, i WISH my bills were only 2100 a month.

It's tough to be a dick when you're a nice guy. Trust me, i know. Sometimes i wish i had more balls with telling girls to fuck off. :shrug2: and they say there's none of us left. here we are! lol

take it easy with the new lady. you're both fucked over, and if you really like her, you're going to have to take things REAL fucking slow. Just be like friends for at least a couple weeks. don't sleep with her on sunday. Jeffie will be in here in a few posts to say the exact opposite, plow it out and find the next one. heh

I guess either way works. It's the middle ground where you have feelings AND sex where things get all fucking crazy.
 

jeffie7

Wrong Whole!
VIP
Brian you are wrong. Sounds like she's a nice girl he might like. I agree take it slow and build a great friendship that one day could become the foundation to a great relationship.

For me you bang and smash and bang some more the people you don't care about or don't want to be with. The other thread he didn't want anything from the new girl and knew he wasn't ready for a gf. In his case pounding it out and saying GTFO works great.
 

FLounder

power hungry
VIP
Spent all day yesterday with the new girl, shes pretty damn cool. We have more in common than i did with my ex, thats for sure. We are taking it slow for now.

So other than that, Im pretty miserable. My ex has gone into a level new level of bitch that i have never seen from her before. The last two days I cant even have a 2 sentence conversation with her. Shes making it easy to get over her. Im so fucking done with her shit.

She has never been anything like this before in 8 years... letting it all come out now.
 

reckedracing

TTIWWOP
VIP
at least you can see it now before you married her.
you should count yourself lucky.
sure it sucks right now but at least you have the rest of your life to bounce back and find someone that deserves you.
 

invisibledemon

Bored
Moderator
VIP
tell the bitch to just get the fuck out.

if she starts to argue with you tell her to shut up and leave. you arent forcing herr to stay there. shes an inconvenience to you, not the other way around.
 

get_nick

These snozzberries taste like snozzberries...
VIP
Just wait until she tells you she's pregnant and tries to get you back.

That happens to everyone else, right? right??
 
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